Warlocks In Her Ear

Als Gäb's Kein Morgen Mehr...

2010-01-13T17:36:00.001+02:00

This blog has reached the end of cake.
Catch you on the flipside!

Nemesis

2009-10-08T21:02:00.003+03:00

My mind is broken, and my heart got on a plane. I am lost.
This blog is hibernating.

"Beneath an avalanche, soft as moss.
I'm a creeping and intangible sense of loss.
I'm the memory you can't get out of your head,
if I leave you now you'll wish you were somewhere else instead.

I am the manta ray - I'm the louse.
I am a photograph they found in your burned out house.
I'm the sound of money washing down the drain.
I am the pack of lies, baby, that keeps you sane.

I'm the bottom line of the joke.
I am extasy - spilling out like bright egg yolk.
I'm the thoughts you were to ashamed to ever share,
and I am the smell of it - you're trying to wash out of your hair.

I'm the babe that sleeps through the blitz.
I am a sudden and quite unexected twist.
I am your one true love who sleeps with someone else.
I am your nemesis,
baby, I'm life sweet life itself."
David Gray - Nemesis (Draw The Line, 2009)

Shape The Pain Into Something Great

2009-10-01T21:21:00.005+03:00

September was closed with a vengeance, and man, I must say that felt good. October has kicked off with cold temperatures and frosty cars, and even cleaning the floors beat going out of doors.

I finished reading The Gathering by Anne Enright. Throughout all if it my brain screamed at the top of it lungs: "How, oh HOW did this boring piece of sh*t win the Man Booker Prize?". Well, to be fair the ending wasn't half bad, it kind of took the whole disaster to a more elevated level, but still. What an endless yawn this was! Picked up White Male Heart by Ruaridh Nicoll last night, but I'm not sure what to make of it yet. Seems like it's a bit too much testosterone and guns for my liking, but let's see how it turns out.

Speaking of testosterone... the other day I arrived at the office, got into the elevator on the basement level, and expected no danger as the elevator halted on the first floor before continuing on to fourth where I work. Outside, however, stood three middle-aged men engaged in normal conversation... only, when they saw that the elevator was occupied by a woman they for some reason decided to double the volume of their discourse which suddenly took a turn into dirty jokes for the three floors I had to keep up with their company. I almost had to hold my ears (not exaggerating) and tell them to be quiet. When I arrived at my floor one of my (male) colleagues had tried to cook porridge in the microwave. Need I say more?

Now, I have not really turned into a man-hating monster over the last couple of days, but there's been a lot of gender focus lately. The MD of Audi in Finland got himself out of a job after making some rather outrageous statements in the media about how women are basically put on this earth to iron mens' shirts, give them blow jobs and wear high heels. It's ok if we want to work as long as we still remember to do those things. What bugs me is not that this bozo made ridiculous statements, but rather that his opinions have been long known in the car industry, but only when he made a big interview that could reflect badly on the precious Audi brand did it have any consequences. Double standard bullshit.

There. Got rid of some steam. I've washed the floors and moved things around and the apartment looks great. Forgot to do it wearing seven inch heels. Damnit, I guess I'm not much of a woman after all...

"You and I make a lovely shape,
two circles cubed draw a number 8."
Cloud Cult - 2x2x2 (The Meaning Of 8, 2007)

I Can See Your Halo

2009-09-21T20:30:00.004+03:00

The blog has taken the back seat to other things during the last months. If it keeps up I might put it on hold all together, but for now I'll throw in another short update on life in general.

Florentin started school. (I'm living with a high school student. Go me! :D I will proceed to buy a red sports car and wear sunglasses inside at all times to go with my midlife crisis. ;-p) It's going well, and his Finnish is already so far better than mine it's scary.

The world's best Mansers brought forth a lovely future world leader by the name of Frances Lorelei, and she has the cutest little nose you ever saw. I don't want them to move, but it's not exactly like we mind putting more miles on the car to go see them.

Speaking of mileage, we've continued exploring Finland since we came back from the European tour. A couple of weeks back we travelled up to Jämsä to spend some time at the lakes there, we've spent several afternoons in Nuuksio, and this weekend we travelled via Kajaani up to Kuusamo and Lokka, before heading back through Rovaniemi and Kemi. Reindeers, lovely autumnal colors, a bit of alpaca yarn, music on the sound system and the kilometers warming up the Qashqai. Home is always best, though, and I think we'll spend the coming weekends in the Helsinki region. I'm travelling enough on business at the moment anyway...

Alongside, and perhaps because of, recent business trips to Stockholm, I built up a proper cold by the mid of last week which culminated in a relatively nonsensical fever session in Kajaani on Friday. Lost my voice Saturday morning and am still sounding like I'm strung out on bad whiskey and cigarettes. Meeting up with India-travel returnee Dave for beers tomorrow is bound to not help that at all :)

I've had a month and a half to get used to this new state of cohabitation. It's not easy, living with someone again after having the apartment to myself these last three and a half years. I can also feel how deeply the sense of loneliness from my attempt at a long distance relationship was lodged in my spine, and it is oh so difficult to shift. I think we're getting there, though. :)

"Hit me like a ray of sun burning through my darkest night.
You're the only one that I want, think I'm addicted to your light.
I swore I'd never fall again, but this don't even feel like falling.
Gravity can't forget to pull me back to the ground again."
Beyoncé - Halo (I Am... Sasha Fierce, 2008)

Size Does Matter After All

2009-09-18T09:37:00.003+03:00

Seen the new Rammstein video? What to say, what to do?

You've got a pussy,
I've got a dick.
So what's the problem?
Let's do it quick.
Rammstein - Pussy (Liebe Ist Für Alle Da, 2009)

Unfinished Business

2009-08-31T08:03:00.000+03:00

The obsession of this summer has been White Lies, no doubt. I ignored them for months and months, even though all kinds of people (even Miia!) has been trying to push them on me. I guess I figured that they were yet another band that kind of sounded like Interpol and people thought I should like.

Well, shame on me. They're great. And thankfully for me, Dave offered to get me a ticket for the Flow Festival where they were playing in Helsinki a couple of weeks back. So I've even seen them live. The sound was a bit poor to start with, and it was a bit too easy to notice that they haven't got good live versions down of their studio tracks yet, so it was a bit like watching the CD being performed on stage. However, with vocals like that combined with a small festival where you get really close to the stage, I can hardly complain. It was brilliant :)

Deb and David are about to become proud parents in just a matter of days, and although that means that the date of their moving to Turku is also drawing near, I can not wait to meet their little addition to the expatriate community. It is positively fascinating to have a pregnancy happening this close to my daily life, usually my friends have dropped sprogs in Norway while I've been here in Finland and hence I've missed it all!

IKEA have decided to discontinue my brand of Billy - beech. Makes perfect sense, when you look at it. I bet that's where the karma gods are balancing it all out. Have to figure out what to do about this, but there's a pirate company producing IKEA lookalike gadgets that might have something to contribute with in my time of distress. As if this was not upsetting enough, Bar 9 has changed the recipe of my favorite dish. Discontinuations all over the place!

"You whispered "Where are you?",
I questioned your doubt,
but soon realised, you were talking to God now."
White Lies - Unfinished Business (To Lose My Life, 2009)

I Just Can't Seem To Get Enough

2009-08-22T12:43:00.003+03:00

Books, books, books, books, the world is thankfully full of books. I've tried to do my share of reading them this summer, although I definitely could've done more.

First out was Paul Auster's Oracle Night. I have a thing for Auster, no need to dwelve into that again, but this book was not as good as some of the others I've read. Again he shows the astonishing ability his mind has to come up with story upon story upon story, but some of them never land. I want to know what happens to the guy in the shelter! Nevertheless it kept me entertained throughout.

Auster's Man in the Dark was next book out, and disappointingly it had a bit of the same problem. Don't get me wrong, both are still good books, they are just not _quite_ up there with what he can do. With this one I far preferred the initial spin on the story than the actual conclusion. Also, it's a bit too American for me, this one.

I then finally summoned the guts to finish James Bradley's The Resurrectionist. Christ, what a piece of sh*t book this was... I've even mooched it away since, that's how little I liked it. The story is thin, the characters inpossible to care for, and the end is simply a loose-end laughing matter. Where on earth critics get off calling this a gothic horror masterpiece is beyond me, they are probably friends of the author...

After moaning and whining about the poor quality of the previous book for several days, Florentin decided I should read The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger which he had just read and loved. This book I have avoided buying at several occassions because other books have caught my attention more and I have for some reason boxed it away in the same category as The Observations (by Jane Harris, which was to be fair quite good in the end), but I had no real issues with wanting to read it. Good girl! Very lovely, this book. It managed to keep me fully alerted throughout the story, and I cried at the end. That very rarely happens with me and books, so ten thumbs up and just go ahead and read it. Florentin loved it too, if you're worried it's a girls' book. And once you've read it we can discuss the one thing I _didn't_ like about it, but I won't spoil it for you by writing it here.

While I read about time-hoppers, Florentin plowed through one of the books I brought with me, Let The Northern Lights Erase Your Name by Vendela Vida (neat name, huh?). This Finnish author living in America has written a story about a woman who follows her mother's history to the Sami areas of Finland and Norway, and by tracing her roots changes as a human being. Well... it's the first I've read by a Finnish author. I think that's about it. The main character did grow on me, but it took a long time and I still didn't get to love her enough for it to matter that the book ended. Ok'ish read, I'd say. It has a bit of a feministic twist to it that was quite interesting.

Sami stories gave way to Auster again. In The Country Of Last Things was the second of his novels I had with me on our roadtrip, and it didn't take me long to read. Here he's back with full force again, weaving his story in a straight, brutal line through an imagined city that may or may not exist not too far off in our future. If I could, I would happily have punched a couple of the characters the leading lady encounters along her way. Actually it's a shame this one wasn't longer.

In Zurich I found an English bookstore where I picked up Gaiman's Coraline, but I haven't started it yet. I also bought PopCo by Scarlett Thomas, the author of the previously hailed The End of Mr Y. I loved that one, and I loved this one. Similar in the manner of writing, the story is nevertheless quite different. Anti-corporation, pro-vegan, clever and funny, I'd definitely recommend it as a good read. I'd even say it might be the math version of Mr Y, which is more humanistic in it's twists and turns.

Having just finished PopCo a couple of days ago, I've now picked up The Gathering by Anne Enright. This one won the Booker prize in 07, and I got it for my birthday from a friend the same year, I've just been slow in picking it up. Doesn't seem quite like a book I'd normally love yet, but I'll review it after finishing.

"When I'm with you, baby,
I go out of my head.
I just can't get enough,
I just can't get enough."
Depeche Mode - Just Can't Get Enough (Speak And Spell, 1981)
Depeche Mode are playing Helsinki in February, and I've got tickets, baby :D

You Get Me Closer To God

2009-08-18T13:44:00.004+03:00

Another long overdue blog post coming up. The first weekend of July was spent in Arvika, as during the last seven years, with good friends and the Arvika music festival. Originally I had planned on not going this year, but the line-up had me sold quite early on, and even Richard had to break his festival virginity to catch what was to be three days of music madness in the Swedish forest.

As I am, as mentioned, a bit overdue with this post, some things have been forgotten and I will focus on the highlights. First of all, the company was excellent. In fact, the company was so good the music hardly would have mattered, but of course it didn't make things worse either :D

First up was Mars Volta, an act I never managed to like on record and they did not exactly get me much more convinced on stage. Quite on the contrary. However, good company got even better as we located Ståle and Makrellbekken (who no longer lives there and hence hardly earns the name, but still) in the beer area.

First up of the good stuff, however, was Röyksopp. They played in the tent, where temperatures got _very_ warm and clammy after a couple of songs. Hence, when the notes of the-nemesis-of-that-which-is-good-music Eple started penetrating my ears, I figured it was time to leave. Unfortunately this lead to me missing out on most of the tracks I actually love by the band, alongside several guest appearances on stage I'd have loved to catch. I did manage to get a NIN T-shirt before they sold out, however :)

Next up was Nine Inch Nails. I've been a die hard fan of Reznor's since 1998, when Eivind took my music taste under his wing and transformed it into something unrecognizeable. Trent... ok, I'll not let this post become a rant about the loveliness of this man, but let me just say that where he stood, looking like he was head-on challenging the whole world to just _dare_ to try to fuck things up even more, he was as much enough justification for me loving music as he has ever been.

I ended the night by watching some of Elegant Machinery, but they didn't exactly kick much ass after NIN, and they seemed to be painfully aware of it. Hence the night was cut a little short, but I fell asleep with a huge grin on my face!

Friday's music program started out with me hooking up with an old pop quiz buddy in the beer tent and jumping around to De/Vision. Not bad, not bad at all. It hardly got worse when Depeche Mode kicked off their concert on the main stage half an hour later. Oooh, Gahan is so the man, and if it weren't for Trent the night before this concert would have made the festival. Went home after, very tired.

On Saturday I was very lazy, and hence I missed Fleet Foxes (never liked them on record anyway, so probably not a big loss), and half of Thåström. I did arrive at the festival area just when he played my favorite, FanFanFan, though, so all was ok. Time was spent in the beer area, and I skipped most of DAF as I'd seen them before, but Korn turned out to be a very pleasant surprise on the main stage, and provided myself and Hanne with more than enough material for hours of drunken conversation on the balcony of our cabin back at the camping grounds.

All in all, a brilliant festival spent in the company of good people. I was in a very good mood throughout the weekend, and almost have a feeling of having been on speed when I look back on it... which would probably explain the extreme tempo of everything that happened. I think the arrangers will be hard pressed to follow this line-up with anything even remotely as good, but I'm looking forward to see what they come up with for next summer.

"You let me violate you.
You let me desecrate you.
You let me penetrate you.
You let me complicate you."
Nine Inch Nails - Closer (Downward Spiral, 1994)

A Place To Hide

2009-08-18T13:01:00.005+03:00

I am so overdue with this post, but there has simply been too much going on for blogging to be high on the list of priorities.

Short on Croatia (the rest of it):
We didn't spend much more time in Croatia after the last post, as we left the country the next morning, heading for Trieste in Italy via Slovenia. Although the swimming was top notch I have no wish to return to the touristy parts of Croatia ever again. Perhaps if I could find a secluded island somewhere this country would be more down my alley.

Short on Slovenia:
Not much to report, I'm afraid. We took a wrong turn before exiting Croatia and hence entered the country a bit east of where we had planned, but it was easily corrected after a bit of fumbling around in a crossroads, and we crossed over into Italy within a couple of hours from entering.

Short on Italy:
I'd never been to Italy. Love Italian food, have always wanted to learn the language, have to admit to a certain weakness for the men... but had never been. And oh my, did it live up to expectations! The small shops, the narrow streets, the sensual language - ARGH! What am I doing in Finland again? We spent some time in Trieste before heading northwest in direction of our passage into Switzerland. Experienced a gorgeous rain storm that we could enjoy from bed looking out on the balcony in our room. I want to go back to Italy. ASAP.

Short on Switzerland:
Hm. Part 1 of this holiday's family check-up took us to Florentin's hood. We started out in Zurich where we hooked up with one of his girlfriends whom I enjoyed conversation with over beers while the young gentleman proceeded to get himself a little bit pickled :) The next morning we swam in the river that runs through the city, which I have to say was a thrilling experience! Mother, brother (x2) and father were visited over the next few days, and I met some brilliant people. We rounded it off with another night in Zurich where Florentin's friend Christian gave him a reprieve from the girlfriend while I worshipped Paul Auster in a local pub. Oh, and I found a dragon. And got a speeding ticket. :/

Short on Germany:
I've always liked Germany, but this time around we got ourselves into a bit of a spot as we entered the not-so-nice town of Kassel. If you ask me what was bad about it I'll be hard pressed to give you a concrete answer, but as with Moldova it rubbed me the wrong way in _every_ way. A big contributor was probably that we had been travelling for three weeks about this point, and were getting a little tired of it. We spent a night close to the Danish border in a town that was closer to the Germany I like, however.

Short on Denmark:
VROOOOM! Did we even stop in Denmark? Ah, yes, we had lunch at a roadside diner. Otherwise little to report, I had my eyes set on Örebro and Denmark is mostly flat anyway. Nice to see the windmills in the ocean between Denmark and Sweden, though.

Short on Sweden:
We pushed on a bit into the night to get to Örebro without stopping along the way, and yay! Back to the farm :) We spent a few days with my family, basically being lazy, going swimming, barbequing, drinking beer and simply having _holiday_! To say we both needed the rest would be an understatement. From there we drove on to Stockholm and took one of the party ferries over to Helsinki, where our roadtrip ended around 10:00 the next morning.

To sum it up, this road trip was a massive undertaking, no doubt about that. The reader stopped at 8 700 km, we used the spare tank of gas a couple of times, had a couple of rather hefty navigation conflicts, three and a half weeks with temperatures between 30 and 42 degrees C with very little access to water, mosquito bites de luxe, a sudden allergy attack that lasted for two weeks, and sometimes a definitive lack of relaxation and holiday. What we also had, however, were hundreds of hours spent in excellent company without conflicts, a car with AC and sunroof, great sights, good camping choices, good hotel choices, good food, good drink, functional systems, maps, loads of weirdness and a very, very good time.

Back in Espoo I'm now in my second week of being back to work, and since the end of April I have not only added 10 previously unseen countries to my list, I find myself living with a gorgeous young man and am contemplating getting my master's degree over and done with. Not quite sure yet how this came to be, but big thanks to karma for paying a lot of attention to me lately :)

"If I told you all the times that I'd done wrong,
could you bathe my soul and wash it all away?"
White Lies - A Place To Hide (To Lose My Life, 2009)

Kiss The Rain

2009-07-30T11:04:00.011+03:00

I'm writing this from Rijeka, a dodgy industrial town in Croatia. It's likely that today will bring us out of this country, through Slovenia and into Italy.

Short on Moldova (the rest of it):
Not really my kind of country, this. The differences between rich and poor are extreme, and apparently the country has a trafficking problem unlike no other nation in the world. The roads were actually surprisingly ok, and the monastery was scenically beautiful, but otherwise I'd not recommend one goes out of one's way to get there. We rented an apartment in Chisinau instead of finding a hotel, and this I must say was a very pleasant surprise. We used the rental agency suggested in the Lonely Planet guide - easy to find at the bottom of the hill where Beer House is situated.

Short on Romania:
For me, Romania was pretty much the purpose of this roadtrip. I've been fascinated with this country since I don't know when, and have been talking about making it the destination of a roadtrip for years. I am very happy to say it lived up to expectations. The trouble is, I'll have to go back! We stayed in Brasov four nights, with one night of camping on either side. Monasteries, castles, good food, mountains, crap roads, ice-cold rivers, sheep, rattle-snakes imitating birds, mist, Swiss vampire wannabe's, milk-carrying and -distributing monks, in general a beautiful country with lovely people.

Short on Serbia:
The Balkans were not really plan of my initial itinerary idea, but as I had no real preference after Romania it was as good a suggestion as any. I had little relationship with these countries up front, so it brought a couple of surprises. First of all, crossing over into Serbia from Romania was a piece of cake. The countryside in the east was a bit boring after the mountaneous regions of the previous country, but Belgrade was quite nice and I think it grew on Florentin. We spent one night there, and the following night in a national park close to the Bosnian border. Spine tingling views, and a bit scary roads at night. People follow the traffic rules in this country!

Short on Bosnia:
The border crossing from Serbia was almost like being in the EU again. Ok, they did stamp the passports, but otherwise there was very little ado about the whole thing. Bosnia was gorgeous. I never realized how montaneous it was, and Sarajevo certainly left me wanting more. We only had a couple of hours there, well spent in a small restaurant called Club To Be Or Not To Be where a one-man chef/waiter/cashier impressed me no end with his ability to juggle his guests, make dinner for all and still look like he was just having a totally normal day at work. Drivers here are almost en par with the Latvians. The majority drive reasonably well, but there's a lot of dodgy passings and it's quite exhausting to navigate the narrow roads circling around the mountains.

Short on Croatia (so far):
Border crossing? What? The lady laughed and looked like she was pretty amused by the antics of tourists when we kindly asked her to stamp our passports. Croatian roads are pretty much like the Bosnian ones - meaning very few potholes but very winding and lacking of straight stretches. The ocean is _beautiful_. Most of you will know I have an affinity for the ocean along Norway's coast line, but I could be willing to throw Croatia into the competition. Waters are sparkling clear, and the water is cold enough to really cool you down even though the temperature ranges in the higher thirties still. There are, however, tourists _everywhere_! Having been spoilt with the solitude it gives to drop off the beaten track, this was not a welcome return to the Western world of money spending sun worshipers. They also create havoc on the roads, as the mix of different driving styles is nothing short of a health hazard.

Temperatues have been between 30 and 40 pretty much for three weeks straight now. Norwegians like me are not built for this kind of heat, so it was very nice to finally cool down a bit in the ocean. I'll probably blog a little bit again from Switzerland. Catch you on the flipside!

"Kiss the rain and wait for the dawn."
Billie Myers - Kiss The Rain (Growing, Pains, 1997)

Lost Highway

2009-07-19T15:37:00.009+03:00

I'm on the road. Currently in Moldova, writing this en route to the Orhei monastery outside Chisinau. Up until now several countries have been undertaken with neckbreaking speed, and until I get to Romania I'm not really planning on slowing down anywhere. I could use a day with a book, my feet up and a bit of quiet, though, the contrast to how I usually travel is like night and day.

Estonia was a pure transportation stretch and hence didn't bring much of interest. After very few hours of sleep the night before I actually slept through most of it. Day 1 ended as we reached one of Latvia's national parks where we set up camp with the tent Deb and David so kindly bestowed on us (thanks you guys, it works like a charm!). The morning after we had breakfast with a stork. Seriously.

My first couchsuring experience on the surfing side of things took place the following night, as we hooked up with American Jimi who lives and works in Latvia. He had just moved house with his wife, and showed an outstanding amount of hospitabiliy taking in a couple of unknown surfers on his first night in a new house (and WHAT a house it was!). We also got to hang out with the dog and Jimi's daughter, both lovely.

The next morning we started our career with police confrontations a bit sooner than expected when Florentin ran a red light (typical!) and was presented with the doubtful honor of receiving his first ever ticket. Since then there has been so much going on I'll not bore you with a step by step recollection of it all. A few key notes on the countries, however:

Short on Estonia:
Early morning ferry with already drunk Finns. Pancakes in Tallinn. A lot of road. Drivers starting to get a bit impatient. I mostly slept, but woke up as we passed a motorcycle passanger who had fallen off the bike. Aparently he seemed to be doing well.

Short on Latvia:
GREEN! They've had a bit of rain this summer, and I guess that explains the abundant greenery all over the place. Oh, and the gardens, they are lovely. It looks like the Latvians really put a lot of pride and love into the tending of their green spots. Storks are everywhere, as are speed-crazy drivers. Riga is quite nice, but has little on Tallinn in my opinion.

Short on Lithuania:
A little field'ier than Latvia, but still green and nice, and I got my first swim of the trip following one of many detours. We spent a night in a hotel in the centre of Vilnius, in the squeekiest bed ever - kept me awake most of the night (Florentin.. again!) - but the breakfast was good and we found a bookstore that sold Lonely Planet guides. Most important.

Short on Poland:
Another transportation stretch - we knew we wanted to get from Vilnius and as far down into Poland as possible in one day, with Lublin being the priority target. A day of driving later, we checked into a hotel in the old town that made up for the lack of good breakfast with excellent location, good service and a good bed. About here it started getting really, really hot. I almost had a heat stroke opening the car doors the next morning. Went for swim no II in a packed lake somewhere on the way to Ukraine. Insane amount of ongoing roadworks in this country!

Short on Ukraine:
The border crossing into Ukraine was a bit of a wild card. I was not one hundred percent sure we had all documents needed to get across, but as it turns out we were fine. A ridiculously young border guard asked me some questions about our camping equipment, listened somewhat half-heartedly to my answers before plunging into the core of the matter; "Any drugs?". When I could satisfy him with a clear "No!" in response, the rest was pretty much just paper work. And we got a stamp! Alas, by this time it was so late we ended up emergency camping on some dodgy backroad that set a new world record in the amount of potholes per square meter, and we got a zillion mosquito bites setting up the tent. First destination L'Viv took a while to figure out, but once we had it nailed this city became the first proper full-blown sightseeing session of the trip. As I am not the happiest of campers when temperatures are high and no water is to be found, this was all a bit too much for me. Sleeping arrangements were made on a hillside of a FSC forest that was supposed to hold bears. We saw none. The next day was spent driving to Kamyanets-Podilskyi, a smaller town in a natural park quite close to the Moldovan border. We spent a night in a hotel there, came across a Shell station (Yay!), accidentally reset the km reader for the trip (checking a fuse.. but we managed to calculate our way back to 2098 km so far), and again did a bit of sighsteeing in extreme heat. Ukraine became the by far champion country in numbers of nights spent as we were a bit time-confused the next day (reset the clock as well of course) and decided to go swimming and camping one more night instead of rushing across the border at dusk.

Short on Moldova (so far):
The border crossing was rather uneventful. Five desks where people wanted the exact same documents and answers to the exact same questions took about one hour, and the only unexpected event was a CO2 tax for non-Moldovian cars of 30 moldovan Leu, which we didn't have. Fortunately my relentless storing of money in all kinds of pockets turned up a 5 Euro bill in a jacket, which they accepted (even got change!) and we were free to go. Moldova has the biggest sunflower fields I have ever seen. They stretch so far all you can see is yellow. Beautiful.

As said, this is being written in the car while driving along one of Moldova's main highways as quickly as the endless potholes allow us. Roads have been pretty shitty since Southern Poland, but nothing like we expected when it comes to aggressive drivers. In fact, Latvia was by far the worst in that respect, since then it's been manageable (of course it helps to drive a car that accelerates ten times as quickly as the heaps of junk metal they drive down here (although there are really expensive cars around as well)). The road police has given us a couple of scares, as they are pretty much all over the place and will jump at the chance to squeeze some money out of a foreigner. After the first ticket we have, however, managed to get out of it with just being stopped one more time, also this deserved as Florentin made a dodgy left turn onto a main road. There's a first time for everything, including bribing police officers to let you go without a fine. 'Nuff said.

"Guide the cars, you've got the keys, farewell to mediocrity.
Kicking off the cruise control and turning up the radio,
got just enough religion and half a tank of gas,
come on, let's go!"
Bon Jovi - Lost Highway (Lost Highway, 2007)

Everlasting Love

2009-06-30T20:06:00.001+03:00

I love this song. I mean it, I love it to bits. It makes me happy no matter how trodden down my general mood might be, and makes me want to dance around naked with flowers in my hair. Uhm. Well. It makes me happy, ok? :)

One of the things I love the most about this track is how many times it has been covered, and how, no matter how lousy the cover is, the song still never fails to put a smile on my face. So, now I want you to spend some time discovering why, by looking through a couple of the very, very smile-inducing videos I've linked to in the below. Wait until the very end to listen to the quote version. And then come back and tell me it didn't make you want to sing your heart out! I'll never believe it :D

The song was written by Cason/Gayden in the mid-sixties, and debuted by Robert Knight in -67. One of my most cherished tracks is the Love Affair version from -68, however. After that, artists like Carl Carlton, Rex Smith, Sandra, Gloria Estefan and U2 have covered it, and on the Bridget Jones Edge of Reason soundtrack there's an artsy-fartsy version by Jamie Cullum, which kinda makes me smile even broader because he tries to be so different and the song still owns his ass when he kicks off the choruses.

If the below version should, for all intents and purposes, fail to put a smile on your lovely face, find the U2 version. And while you're at it, remember to give this life we're leading some credit, because it's pretty darn beautiful!

"Where life's river flow, no one really knows
'till someone's there to show the way to lasting love.
Like the sun that shines, endlessly it shines.
You always will be mine, it's eternal love.
When other loves are gone, ours will still be strong.
We have our very own everlasting love."
Love Affair - Everlasting Love, 1968
Ah, and turn up the volume, damn it! :-)

The Same Deep Water As You

2009-06-29T20:46:00.003+03:00

I have the prettiest, fanciest and loveliest laptop in the whole wide world and I shall never ever sleep again.

"I will kiss you,
I will kiss you,
I will kiss you forever on nights like this."
The Cure - The Same Deep Water As You (Disintegration, 1989)

Fill It With Devils And Dust

2009-06-24T20:48:00.012+03:00

Today I finally finished Jane Eyre. After a couple of weeks of relentless social activity I took the afternoon to myself to sit down with the book in the sun and finish off this peculiar story. Although I am often puzzled at how little is taught of English classics in Nordic schools, I must admit there is a certain pleasure in being able to read books like this, Wuthering Heights and Sense and Sensibility without knowing how they will end.

I fell a little bit in love with Jane, but she does sometimes carry on something chronic about trivialities that made me wish she would just get on with it! Might not have been a good idea to not read any modern literature between Wuthering Heights and this one. I will now disappear back into the wonderful arms of Paul Auster for a few days, as I've recently completed my collection of his works and hence have a book or two (as if I didn't already have more than fifty unread waiting) to get through.

Movies watched:
Madame Bovary (the 1949 adaption) - Good, very good. What a horrible hag of a woman, though! Selfish to the end. Hoping for a fairytale ending my ass, what about taking responsibility for your own putrid actions?

La Dolce Vita - Ah, I hate Fellini. Sure, Ekberg was gorgeous, but this movie is just one big yawn of an exhausted attempt at being interesting.

Rocket Science - Not really what I had expected, and I'm no big fan of the leading chick. The leading boy does his job well enough, though, and I got a couple of laughs from it although I kinda think I wasn't really supposed to laugh at those moments.

"What if what you do to survive kills the things you love?"
Bruce Springsteen - Devils And Dust (Devils & Dust, 2005)

A Thousand Beautiful Things

2009-06-16T20:21:00.009+03:00

Strangely enough Richard Marx' Greatest Hits have been the soundtrack of the last couple of days. Don't ask me why. Today I am giving Annie Lennox' Bare (2003) a listen. Have had it for years, but never listened to it before now. It's quite nice, I always liked her voice.

In addition to the long list of movies below I watched Singin' in the Rain this weekend. Hadn't seen it before, and unfortunately I have to say it disappointed me a little. I guess being a classic and all I assumed it would have something brilliant going for it, but most of the time it just annoyed me a little and I was happy to see it end. I think part of it is that the female actresses give me the creeps.

Over the last two days I've watched Gone With the Wind, also this for the first time. Now here we have, on the other hand, a proper classic. I love this movie. But the ending! What's up with that? And I don't think Scarlett is annoyingly spoiled, I think she's just confused and fighting like a cat to get a grip on her existence. Oh, and Miss von Teese must have had Vivien Leigh in mind when she perfected her public facade.

"To live,
to die,
to breathe,
to sleep,
to try to make your life complete."
Annie Lennox - A Thousand Beautiful Things (Bare, 2003)

...Not By Begging On His Knees

2009-06-14T20:02:00.002+03:00

For some reason I've been waking up really early this weekend although nightly activities should have sent me sleeping until noonish the next mornings. Helsinki nightlife on both Friday and Saturday is a bit too much, to be honest. (Getting old, are we?) The good thing about early mornings is that I get to catch up on my reading and movie watching. Well, to be honest the reading is going nowhere at the moment as I am in my second month of trying to get through Jane Eyre. It's not that it's a bad story, it's just waaay too long! I wish they would just get married and have it over with, but apparently there's some kind of objection to that at this stage so I guess I'll be going at it for another week or so.

You, Me & Dupree has been passed over on numerous occassions as I'm not the biggest believer in the Wilson/Hudson combination. Quite harmless, of course, and surprisingly it did produce a number of laughs. Also, the soundtrack is at times interesting, so all in all a pleasant surprise.

One of my pet peeves is movies that deal with abnormalities, fetishes, things about which you shouldn't really speak. Movies like Fur, Quills, 9 1/2 Weeks and Sex, Lies & Videotape, I don't know, I just love them. I can now add another film to the list, after watching Secretary, a study in submission with Maggie Gyllenhaal as the leading lady. The choice of lead actress in particular makes this movie enjoyable, as her voice and stature suits the role perfectly. The story deals with a self-cutter who replaces an addiction with another as she starts working as a secretary for a young lawyer with a penchant for ladies who do as they're told. Also, the soundtrack is put together by Angelo Badalamenti (of Twin Peaks/Mulholland Drive fame).

I also watched the film adaption of Alessandro Baricco's Silk. I've not read the novel, as his Without Blood almost bored me to death when I read it a year or so ago. Keira Knightley, pretty although she may be, does little to lift this film. I have difficulties with Michael Pitt after seeing him in Funny Games, so he didn't really work either. The two Asian ladies portraying the far-off ideal woman and the closer-at-hand prostitute, are quite lovely and add to the visual strenghts of the movie (because beautiful it is, no doubt about that). The dialogue is quite modified to portray a less erotic image to the movie goers. A shame.

The Island (Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson) is another one of those movies that I've been passing over several times in my hunt for entertainment. Perhaps I should stop doing that, as this one again surprised me positively. It's kind of a mixture of Lost and Aeon Flux, and I even think Johansson did an ok figure. I must still be the only person on the planet who actually enjoy some of her songs but not really her movies, though. In fact, the best thing I've seen her in is Timberlake's video for What Goes Around Comes Around, and I suspect that to be mostly because the mood of the video reminds me of Bowie's The Heart's Filthy Lesson.

My Nights Are More Beautiful Than Your Days is a French piece of overly artistic crap from 1989 that is "deeply affecting" according to Rotten Tomatoes, "deeply disturbing, boring and shitty" according to me. Not worth the time it takes to watch it.

Speaking of disturbing, a week or so ago I watched The Dreamers, the movie where Michael Pitt (again) hooks up with a couple of French twins. Apparently it's a well known fact that this movie deals with siblings that are a bit too close, but I didn't know and hence it gave me a bit of a start when they started being overly familiar with each other in a not so modest way. Could be interesting and quite down my alley of unmentionable topics, but the acting isn't very good and the menstruation scene in the bath was a bit... unsavory.

Apparently Once will be featured at the outdoor cinema Engel in a few weeks, and I might be interested in catching that. Also, me and David have been talking about doing the beer tram somewhere early July. Give me a shout if you're up for either.

"If you want a lover I'll do anything you ask me to.
And if you want another kind of love, I'll wear a mask for you."
Leonard Cohen - I'm Your Man (I'm Your Man, 1988)

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

2009-06-09T20:06:00.012+03:00

Why are the things that should be easy sometimes so difficult? And, at the same time, why do the peaks that at first seem insurmountable sometimes turn out to be the easiest to climb? I guess if I did have that roadmap it would all make sense, but at least without one you never get bored, right?

Next week I'll be going to Paris again. It's been more than a year since the last time I set foot in that lovely place, so I'm looking forward to roaming french streets again, with a slightly different mindset this time around. There shall be wine, there shall be flowers and there shall be fun. Hopefully also light, but sometimes when even God asks for that it seems nature is unwilling to comply. Finland has returned to the gloomy grey of late winter over the last week, with temperatures lingering around 5-7 degrees C. A bit too chilly for my liking, but I guess it'll pass.

My mind lingers on Iran. It seems everyone's going there now, except me. Not that I am complaining, I should be more than resourceful enough to get a move on myself, but it'll have to wait. For now. My mind is infected with travel bugs, and the multitude of possible locations is almost making me dizzy. How lovely would it not be to be a travel writer, or just simply unafraid enough to get up and leave? If my roots are not set, why am I so wary of pushing off and floating free? Ah, well, it'll come.

You know the version of Dream A Little Dream Of Me by The Mamas & the Papas (1968)? Well, the song was, of course, not theirs. It was written in '31 by a German called Gus Kahn who also wrote songs like It Had To Be You, My Baby Just Cares For Me and I'll See You In My Dreams. Although I love the wonders of the modern world (well, at least some of them), I cannot shake the romantic notion of an American Colonial porch in New Orleans with an old, scratchy record player transmitting the husky voice of Louis Armstrong. Perhaps we lived other lives in other times and that is why we have such unexplained affinities for certain phenomenon.

"Sweet dreams 'til sunbeams find you.
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you.
But in your dreams, whatever they be,
dream a little dream of me."
Louis Armstrong/Ella Fitzgerald - Dream A Little Dream Of Me (1950)

I Want You To Trouble Me

2009-06-02T10:35:00.008+03:00

I did a lot of this and that over the last week and a half, shortly summarized it pretty much comes down to music, beer, laughter, travelling, training (and bruising of the brain), working, swimming, sun worshipping, eating, more laughter, friends, love and warm(er) air (than usual).

I have a couple of basic issues to report:
- 30 degrees C in Finland does not mean that the water is warm.
- Peacocks (even Brittish ones) make a hell of a spectacle when they start screaming at night.
- People who work in factories think that the creativeness of Sales&Marketing people is bizarre.
- I'm cancelling my summer holiday trip to South America as there's been a change of plans.
- There are no Shell stations in Romania.

I watched Constantine for the fourth time on Sunday. Although Tilda Swinton's rendition of Gabriel is worth the watch, the movie is _not_ all that good. Anyway, this was the first time I noticed that APC's Passive is on the soundtrack, and it made me a little confused as it doesn't really fit in there. Oh, and Gavin Rossdale plays one of the demons. I've never reflected on that before either. Cute, that one, and I especially like the sleeziness with which he delivers his "finger-licking good".

Matchbox 20 made a brief re-appearance in my life this weekend as I listened to their More Than You Think You Are over a couple of days. I had a massive crush on Unwell back when it came out, and Downfall is also worth a listen. It's a pity Rob Thomas doesn't quite live up to his potential solo.

Fundamental question:
When faced with something scary, do you stay and face it, or do you turn your back and run as fast as you can? Lamb for slaughter or cowardly lion?

Oh, and I can't believe they just _lost_ a plane. How does that happen?

"Be my savior,
and I'll be your downfall."
Matchbox 20 - Downfall (More Than You Think You Are, 2002)

...And The Day Has Been Beautiful So Far

2009-05-22T10:45:00.003+03:00

Hm. You figure; "Well, there's no way Norway's gonna win Eurovision this year, being favorites and all we're gonna end up at the bottom of the pile.", so you might as well host a party. The party was a brilliant congregation of prettily clad people, so although the goal of clearing large amounts of alcohol from my shelves backfired in a major way the evening was an unmitigated success. Wine party, anyone? Oh yes, and Norway won. Yay :)

The Gothminister concert last Friday was good fun as well. Me and Kjersti ended up ditching the warm-up act to have beers with Bjørn & co backstage until their gig started. It was nice to see Bjørn again, and Glenn being there was a pleasant surprise. The concert was the best I've seen them do so far, and Lotta and her friend who joined us were also up in flames over it all :)

Monday and Tuesday we had our country managers visiting, and the working days were spent in the training centre in Vantaa. Me and Sanna got to do a little sightseeing in outback Järvenpää in the evening before dinner, before I left to the airport to pick up my returnee Swiss friend.

A couple of thousand years ago Jesus made the choice to go back to his father's farm on a Thursday. As this was celebrated by having a day off yesterday, me and Florentin went off on a road trip to Kotka, a couple of hours drive east of Helsinki. We quite randomly stumbled upon a Kotka/Grankulla IFK football game, the Kotka aquarium (which I had no idea existed), a lovely park area along the Kotka river basin, and taking multiple detours on our way back we came upon an area of giant's kettles (pot holes) somewhere close to Askola. Yet another beautiful day :)

Today I am going to see IAMX in concert, and tomorrow there's the World Village festival here in Helsinki. I have a couchsurfer inbound from Tallinn tomorrow morning who will only stay one night, but I am nevertheless quite excited about hearing his story. Next week I'm off to Cranfield for three days of training.

This is another one of those "first I did this, and then I did that, and then..." posts, but I don't have time to think through any deeper matters at the moment. Life is good :)

"I'm here with you, driving in your car,
and the day has been beautiful so far."
Bertine Zetlitz - Beautiful So Far (Beautiful So Far, 2000)

Come Back To Me

2009-05-16T12:25:00.009+03:00

I wrote this post a couple of days ago but yanked it down right after posting as I figured it was a bit over the top happy even for my current state of mind. On closer inspection, however, it is quite fitting.

Some weeks back I had a conversation about how things have a tendency of sorting themselves out. Whether I was born under a lucky star or perhaps my paying off debt to karma is working out, I don't know, but somehow things do fall into place for me. Not without hickups, but still, if someone steals your last dollar bill and then the next day you win the lottery, you're able to recover from the loss quite quickly, right? If I am a lion or any other predatory feline, at least I can trust I will always land on my two feet ;)

Today my apartment will be invaded by men in suits and women in dresses for this year's Eurovision. Can't wait, especially to see all my lovely girlfriends all dressed up in the same room! :)

Life, ladies and gentlemen, can not even be said to be good right now. It's as close to perfection as I think it gets. The picture above of Tiia, Scott and Dave pretty much sums it up, I think :)

"Your voice it keeps pursuing me,
and I should have acted differently, I know."
Minor Majority - Come Back To Me (Reasons To Hang Around, 2006)

...When I Ruled The World

2009-05-14T23:46:00.012+03:00

Blogging's not really working out for me at the moment. I don't know why, there just doesn't seem to be anything that wants to be put into words. Or rather, whatever there is it seems to be too much of an entangled mess to be sorted out properly.

A couple of things could be noted, however.
I had my yearly appraisal discussion with my manager this week. It was quite good, but it left me a bit ambivalent when it comes to my future. When I moved to Finland I figured it would be for two years. Then I took my current position, and I figured that would be for two years. So come next April, what do I do - do I stay or do I leave? Truth is, I have no idea. I guess I'm waiting for someone to tell me, although I know well that's not going to happen (and even if it did I probably wouldn't listen).

I'm going to see Gothminister-Bjørn in Nosturi tomorrow (to the right, looking scary backstage with bananas). Before that I'm hooking up with the Norwegian crowd for a pre-May 17th dinner after work (the picture above is of Audun and Kjersti in Iguana). And, I have to get through both of these things without getting tipsy as I am hosting an Eurovision party on Saturday that I need to fix things for. What am I thinking? I don't know, but Sunday will be spent in a fun induced coma.

I don't really know why, but I feel a bit thinly stretched right now. So, off to bed. Sleep tight, world.

"I discovered that my castles stand
upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand."
Coldplay - Viva La Vida (Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends, 2008)

Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses?

2009-05-12T12:46:00.002+03:00

Uhm...

The Next Plane Out

2009-05-10T17:41:00.003+03:00

Some days back, whilst having a cigarette in our lovely smoking room at work, someone said something about loneliness. True to form, Miia picked up a word and started singing. To my gargantuan surprise, what came out this time around was a Celine Dion tune! And not just any tune, a rather random one from The Colour of My Love, and of course I also know it by heart. I think Kjersti almost had a brain bleed right there and then, and I do feel a little uncomfortable quoting it at the end of this post. Anyway, nice to know I'm not the only one hauling around song lyrics I have little use for in my head.

My Swiss friend left Finland on Thursday, taking a substantial part of my equilibrium with him across the Baltic Sea to Rostock. All evening and most of the day on Friday I was one hundred percent sure I would never ever take the chance of letting a couchsurfer into my life again if they would keep on leaving with fragments of my soul, but quite unexpectedly I already Saturday morning headed into town to pick up Bianca and Emilie, two German girls who needed adopting. As I was not really prepared to host this weekend, both mentally and timewise, they were left to their own devices most of the time, but I think they managed well. I took them to Bar 9, of course, and then onto an unofficial CS event at Olutkellari where Rock Delusion did a bunch of covers and loads of smiles were to be seen. Good times!

I'm starting to wonder if the invasion of German speakers into my life over the last couple of months should be telling me something. My understanding of the language is getting better by the day, but with the speaking I am still too impatient to pick it up again. It frustrates me to have to search for the words and to know I'm not getting the grammar right. Maybe it's time to sign up for a refreshment course.

I am so restless!

"I listen to the sound of the rain falling down my window,
praying for a gentle wind to bring my baby back again.
Trying to be strong, but I'm not getting any stronger,
loneliness is tearing apart this heart of mine."
Celine Dion - Next Plane Out (The Colour Of My Love, 1993)

On Any Other Day

2009-05-06T12:13:00.006+03:00

Blog silence is good silence!

Last Monday I welcomed my first ever couchsurfer into my home, and although I was a little nervous to begin with I must deem it an unmitigated success. A young Swiss gentleman called Florentin has been kind enough to enrich my life as what was intended to be a two day stay turned into one and a half weeks of integration into my social life and a spontaneous three day road trip to Oulu.

After a lively JD Vappu celebration last week, we hit the road heading north. We took the coast route through Pori, Vaasa and Kokkola, with only one unintended detour and little traffic. The 800 km drive took us around 8 hours not counting numerous breaks, so we made good time considering the long and winding minutes spent behind trucks and trailers.

Oulu I must say was not what I expected. I can imagine it's quite a nice place in summer, and already now the weather was more than warm enough to enjoy strolling through the city. It does leave something to be desired with regards to an organized city centre, but along the waterfront there are plenty of cuteish hang-outs for food and sun worshipping. We spent half of Saturday there before we went on a roadtrip within the roadtrip, up to the Swedish border crossing of Haparanda and to the island of Seskarö where we consumed a bit of wild game and watched the locals posing for pictures on the beach. We were hoping to go swimming, but up north the ice has not yet broken and hence there was no chance to jump in the water (thank God).

Heading back from Oulu we took the inland route through Jyväskÿlä, Jämsä and Lahti. My oh, so clean car changed color from black to brown as we set off on muddy local country roads around Pihtipudas to locate a Shell station in Keitele (and as it turns out that station only caters to diesel trucks), and suffice to say I got my fair share of Finnish country side! The stretch from Jyväskylä through Jämsä down to Lahti is gorgeous, and much more similar to Norway than anything I've seen as of yet in Finnish nature.

All in all, we did close to 2000 km this weekend, spending around 23 hours in the car and listening to dozens of albums. Although this sounds like way too much it is possibly the best roadtrip I've ever been on, and I only regret not having time off to be able to continue down the Swedish coastline on to Stockholm and taking the car back by boat from there. It definitely gave me the inspiration to rekindle my thoughts around a Romania trip, although this year it's not likely to happen.

On top of the travel loveliness, I think I've learnt more about myself in the last days than the last couple of years combined. How do you react when a complete stranger inhabits your guest room, what do your instincts say, and are you able to fully understand and comply with them? I've experienced a mixture of maternal instincts kicking in, extreme honesty and need for trust and the kind of intensity that comes from having little time. I think I've gained a long-lasting connection from it all, and although I don't think I'm likely to find a CS match again that will be able to dig out the same amount of "spontaneous me" from underneath it all, I will keep it up and hopefully be able to learn some more about myself and the world in the process.

"I like where this is going,
yeah, cause I know where it's been."
Bon Jovi - Any Other Day (Lost Highway, 2007)

...And So The Lion Fell In Love With The Lamb

2009-04-26T18:13:00.002+03:00

No music this time around. Emilia was kind enough to lend me her newly purchased copy of Twilight a week back, and I've spent a fair share of hours in front of the screen gorging myself on this example of stangely addictive pop culture.

Attraction is on the agenda today. If I could bottle whatever it is that makes certain individuals so insanely attracted to each other I would probably be a rich woman. If such a thing was possible I have no doubt it would end in a horrible mess. What about then bottling something that makes the attraction go away? I'm sure we've all been there, on the sideline of our own lives, watching ourselves fall head over heels with what looks like a hopeless situation. How practical it would be to know the trick to make it all go away.

Reality is, of course, neither of the two comes in bottles. Intriguing thought, though, to be able to switch on and off that electrical current that fills the air when you meet someone all your senses tune into. I wonder, would I use it to an extent where I went numb and no longer knew how to appreciate it, or would I cleverly savour it for the occassions where I knew I would not end up broken and bruised?

Am I the stupid lamb, or the sick, masochistic lion?

I Don't Know What More To Ask For

2009-04-23T20:31:00.007+03:00

Sometimes people make me proud. A few days back, the Norwegian minister of foreign affairs decided not to follow some of his Nordic colleagues out the door in protest as their Iranian counterpart went on an anti-semitic speech spree in the UN. I have no doubt his brain was bleeding as much as theirs were, but as he was the next speaker on the list he chose to remain seated and instead spoke up against the debacle of it all when his time came. I respect that. Neither choice could have been especially easy, but the fact that he took a verbal stand in a forum where people deem it politically dangerous to critizise is a good thing. People should do that more, silence is not the way.

What about me? Do I take a stand on issues I burn for? I think I do, although I could probably do it more actively. Take animal rights, for instance, or gender balance in business. When I first came to Finland I tried a couple of times to volunteer for animal shelters, but they did not want people who didn’t speak Finnish. I think that is a bit strange, as the animals that need help basically couldn’t care less if the person who shows them love has language skills that keep her from saying much other than color combinations, “A beer, please!” and “I have red curtains.”. I’ll try again, a bit more ardently this time around. Fortunately I work in a company where gender politics are not really an issue as we have an impressive amount of female managers considering the industry we operate in.

Other times I might have too much action in me. It’s hard for me to burn for something and keep quiet about it even though I know it can create a mess to speak up. If people treat my friends wrongly, for instance, I go all up in flames and have a hard time settling down, even though sometimes I have to. I should probably let them fight their own causes in peace, but then again I want my friends to burn as hotly for me when something goes pear-shaped.

I haven’t written about individual versus society in a while, but it’s been on my mind a lot lately. Are we inherently good, and if so is it the presence of others that negates that potential in us? No matter how much I try to shake my disbelief in the human race, experience won’t let me. Someone always gets hurt, no action lacks consequence, and no word spoken disappears without a trace. So, if a certain amount of hurt will always be the outcome, is that necessarily bad? Something always has to go to create progress, right? No spring without winter, no life without death, etc.

I think that life is too short to sit on the fence. Inaction, complacency and passiveness annoy me as if they were offences against life itself. We’ve been given this tiny fragment of time to do something with, and it’s almost insulting to me that some people choose to make so little of it. I love my passion for things, it’s what drives me! I try to not be too scared to follow my ideas or to make choices that might end up bruising me. Lack of self preservation instinct, you say? I don’t think so, I think I am just lucky enough to know that bruises heal, both mine and others’, and that there is too much to earn by burning, loving, laughing and taking leaps of faith to not. After all, what else is there?

“It’s about you and the sun,
a morning run,
the story of my Maker,
what I have and what I ache for.”
Röyksopp – What Else Is There? (The Understanding, 2005)

Someone Like You

2009-04-21T17:37:00.002+03:00

I spent Monday attending our yearly dealer award event in Copenhagen. 23 degrees C in the sun, loads of happy dealers, and good food. Even the hours spent in aiports going there and back home could do little to dampen the mood of the day. Emilia was kind enough to lend me her copy of Eskobar's A Thousand Last Chances (2004) on Sunday, a record that went missing from my collection in April 06. The influence Love Strikes has on the splendidness of things cannot even be put into words. :D

Speaking of splendidness, I finally got around to actually buying a copy of Kings of Leon's Only By The Night (2008), and have just spent a full working day working on Terms of Sales documents with Use Somebody in my ears. If I could make everyone listen to this and Love Strikes, I think world peace might just be the result. In the very least the world would be a better place.

Tell you what, let's perform an experiment:
If you never take the time to follow the links in my lyric endings, please at least click this one, turn up the volume (I mean it, and if you have headphones where you are, put them on!), close your eyes (don't care about the visuals) and just _feel_ that urge to be alive and to love. Let me know how it made you feel. And then do it again! :)

Now, dinner with Kjersti (and, as it turned out, Emilia and Miia)!

"You know that I could use somebody,
someone like you and all you know and how you speak."
Kings of Leon - Use Somebody (Only By The Night, 2008)
(Link updated to their Brit Award performance, should now work in all countries.)

Want III

2009-04-19T11:54:00.008+03:00

Yeah, so I don't know about the mixing my blog with my fiction project. Might leave it with that one attempt :)

Today is an utterly lovely Sunday in Espoo. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and the good trend of sleeping through the full night has not worn off. I have to admit, though, that it'll be kind of nice to close this week. Heading over to Emilia's place in a short while to drop off some stuff, and then going to the movies tonight to see Moodysson's Tillsammans.

After Hanne left on Monday I spent the day moping around and staring at the walls, before deciding to hook up with Anu for Bar 9 chicken. Scott and Kjersti joined us, and Tuesday was tired. Wednesday me, Kjersti and Emilia rejoined the lovely world of the Cullens at Emilia's place, and there was no end to the giggling. I then went to Cuba to meet up with Dave and Kaisu, and of course that got way too late. Thursday was a right disaster as the NNE what-ever-it-is-that-goes-around thing decided to hit me in the face, but I was back in good form on Friday, just in time to make a not-really-planned-for appearance in Bruuveri.

Yesterday I was working on cleaning up some of my bad karma, and took Kjersti and Emilia to IKEA. Now, of all the things to do on a Saturday this _better_ earn me some points in someone's book! A short run later (Sanna has successfully managed to get me onto a running program) I was happy to be informed that Dave's Wolves have qualified for the Premier League next season. More company for football in Elmo next season! Yay :D He ended up coming over to my place for some past midnight celebratory wine, and by that my weekend without alcohol was officially without doubt a failure.

I'm trying to come up with a new obsession or two. I'm thinking jigsaw puzzles. I like'em, and I have enough floor space to do one of the really, really big ones. Maybe, if I'm determined, I'll stick with the running long enough for that to grow on me. I miss swimming, but I'm struggling to motivate myself to get up at six in the morning now that my sleeping is in order again. In any case, there's always more music, more books, more movies and more people. Lust for life, baby :)

"I want the sky to fall in,
I want lightning and thunder.
I want blood instead of rain,
I want the world to make me wonder.
I want to walk on water,
take a trip to the moon.
Give me all this and give me it soon."
The Cure - Want (Wild Mood Swings, 1996)

Don't Make It Tempting

2009-04-18T22:55:00.008+03:00

Sometimes I write fiction. It's not something I do because I want people to comment on it, so I do it anonymously on a blog that is not connected with me in any traceable way. What I write usually originates from something that's going on in my head, and I guess that's part of the reason why I don't want it to be read by people who will read to much into it or interpret it as anything other than fiction.

This evening I had a conversation that led me onto the track of wanting to post one of my old texts. The below was written in February 2008, and although the words themselves are fictional they were based on my state of mind at the time, which in a way has strong similarities with my current one. As an experiment I'll upload it here, to see how I feel about people I know possibly interpreting it wrongly. The title of this post is from When U Find Someone by Ken Stringfellow (Soft Commands, 2004), and the last line of the below text is from the same song, and my all time favorite lyric quote. I've taken the text down from my fiction blog to disable cross-referencing. Enough loitering, here goes:

Strong, independent women are we. Never shall we bow to the will of a man, of any man. We shall overcome all the hardships sent our way and prove ourselves in the world of testosterone and facial hair. But what do we gain in losing our femininity? What has women won by growing ever more like men?

He doesn't really know me, this one. He's drawn to me because of my strength, the prospect of someone who'll keep him in line ties him to me and he's not ashamed of it. Sometimes he tells me, "I'm not much for making decisions, so we'll just do whatever you want.", or "It's so sexy when women take charge.". So sexy it hurts.

The last time he left me, I cried. I managed to wait until he was out the door, but he knew I was sad. He just didn't want to see it, so he kissed me on the cheek and hurried out the door and out to the waiting taxi that would take him to the airport and far away from me. I was too female right then, too fragile. He told me once, "I hate it when you cry. It makes me feel powerless, in a way I've not chosen myself.". He likes that I am strong and that I control him, but only because it is his choice.

I will see him again in a matter of hours, and I know this will be the last time. He has drawn away from me, little by little, starting to understand that I am not the tower of impenetrable steel he first thought. Frightened that I will come to rely on his presence or his love, not wanting to be the caretaker. Self-imposed emotional emasculation.

So I will take the lead again. I'll walk him through three days of impatient sex without holding back and without showing emotion. And when I leave, for it is my turn to travel this time, I will wait until I am out the door before I cry. I do not love him, but I so long to be in his shoes.

Show me your strengths, and I'll show you what surrender can be.

Maybe You're Better Off This Way

2009-04-14T16:27:00.005+03:00

My CD collection has a big, gaping Tool-shaped hole in it according to a lot of people, but Maynard's main project never really got me going. A Perfect Circle, on the other hand, got under my skin back in 2001 when 3 Libras was released on single, and I ended up buying Mer De Noms (2000). At some point I have also acquired a copy of their 2004 album, Emotive, although I do not think I've listened to it more than a couple of times.

Four days with Hanne got me through a good amount of records, including Emotive, and ohmygod, how have I not picked up the Maynard/Trent connection? How? It is actually a shame to put an actual blog text in a post dedicated to this song as it should speak for itself, so I might have to run it again with only the lyrics. Because sometimes, the world still burns, and songs like this makes me want to burn with it, to erase all traces of passiveness, complacency and cowardliness that rub off from others.

Every so often everyone needs someone to tell them to get a grip and remember who they are. I've slept through every one of the last five nights without my insomnia rearing its ugly head.
Enough said.

"Wake up and face me,
don't play dead, cause maybe
someday I will walk away and say;
"You fucking disappoint me!"
Maybe you're better off this way."
A Perfect Circle - Passive (eMOTIVe - 2004)

Apartment Story

2009-04-13T13:28:00.005+03:00

Today is the last year of this year's Easter break, and what a good one it has been! Thursday morning I only did a couple of hours in the office before heading over to Vantaa to pick up the person who knows me best in this world from the airport. This was to be Hanne's first time in Finland and my first attempt at merging Oslo and Helsinki.

Thursday brought with it some sightseeing, starting with the white church and the national library (have you not been to the latter, just get your behind moving and go!), followed by a Cafè Engel lunch and a trip to the Russian orthodox cathedral (turned out to be closed). The weather was all sunny and nice, but for some reason all the winds of the world had decided to gather forces in Helsinki on this day. We also managed to squeeze in the Johannes church and a walk about the Helsinki design museum before we ended the sightseeing session to go home and get ready for the evening's adventures.

Thursday night Lotta and Dave joined us at my place for drinks before we headed into town to see Combichrist in Gloria. I was a little baffled by the amounts of people that had donned their gothest outfits - it was almost like someone had picked out all the fanciest Arvika people and placed them in the same room. I wore jeans and pink sneakers. Hm. There's a good amount of what I'd call "pink goths" here, the ones that kinda pick some neon color to go with black and stick with it, hair, clothes and make-up and all.

The first warm-up act combined industrial with accordion. Very bizarre, and the white, tight pants worn by the singer made it a little difficult to focus on pleasantness. The second warm-up act was voluntarily missed due to beeriness in the bar regions of the club. There was some good DJ'ing going on in between the two. Combichrist delivered one of the better concerts I've seen with them, although I suddenly towards the end got really fed up with their inane woman-bashing lyrics. That arrogant little prick of a man has no right flinging the vocabulary he does at a room full of strong females! (As said, I was fed up.)

Friday I introduced Hanne to the loveliness of Bar no 9, and to my great pleasure she had to admit the lemon chicken is everything I said it was. Later in the day we drove out to Deb and David's for the first BBQ of the season. Other guests were their lovely neighbours and Ellen, who I will be a little sad to see going back to the States at the end of April.

Saturday I had to make a judgement call on whether or not to continue the social attack, and ended up deciding to give us a break from new people. Well, almost. We went out to meet Anu and her friend Laura at Bar 9, which was lovely as I hadn't seen her in ages, before going to Dong Bei Hu for Chinese dinner.

Dong Bei Hu used to be located right across the street from where Scott lives. I've only eaten there once, as I was horribly disappointed by the fact that the "most authentic Chinese restaurant in Helsinki" produced the same generic crap all the rest of them do. They have moved, and something favorable has kicked in cooking wise.

I had gan bian si ji dou (dry-fried green beans), a dish that alongside the gan bian'ed beef has driven me to return to China several times, and it was spot on! They went a little over the top on the Sechuan peppercorns, but as the spiciness is exactly what has me so addicted to this dish I was fine with it. The meal was smiles and happiness all around :)

The rest of Saturday was spent in the sun on my balcony with good wine and beer, and me and Hanne ended up talking long into the wee hours of the next morning. Sunday was somewhat more tired, and we basically did nothing. Well, not entirely true... we watched some movies and I got Hanne knitting! :D

As I drove her to the airport this morning, I have to admit being a little sad that Hanne was leaving. Just like I can't imagine what my life would be like without some of my friends here in Finland, she is irreplaceable and I sometimes don't realise how much I miss her in my daily life.
Takk for besøket :)

"So worry not,
we'll be all right.
We have our looks
and perfume on."
The National - Apartment Story (The Boxer - 2007)

When You'd Hide, Your Songs Would Die

2009-04-05T20:47:00.003+03:00

I am still a little out of sorts, but I watched Garden State, and have had some nice hours of music therapy on the floor in front of my CD shelves. When I was a child my mother would sometimes turn off all the lights, light candles, lie down on the floor and listen to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. I don't think I ever reflected on why she would feel a need to do that back then, but I will try to remember to tell her that I loved it and that it's a great way to regain composure.

After a couple of beers with friends this afternoon I have to admit to having a slight buzz going, which is good. I'll give myself another couple of days to wallow in this misplaced autumnal feeling before Hanne's arrival to Helsinki, but then we're back to spring. It'll be fascinating to attempt a merger of my old Oslo self and the Helsinki C. Then again, maybe the two are not all that different, one just knows more about cause and consequence.

"So what if you catch me,
where would we land?"
Remy Zero - Fair (Villa Elaine, 1998)

Who Am I?

2009-04-04T13:05:00.007+03:00

Last night Dave arranged what will go down in history as the best tasting of shitty beer ever. 14 people were experimenting their way through a total of 25 different beers, none of which were particularily good. He finally had a chance to prove his point about the quality of Finnish beer, and although lacking in good drinks it was a great evening due to a brilliant congregation of people. I really like this picture of Scott, he looks like he's up to no good :)

I am feeling blue. Hug, anyone?

"And as you were, you'll be again,
to mold like clay, to break like dirt,
to tear me up in your sympathy.
You were never meant to belong to me."
Smashing Pumpkins - Crestfallen (Adore, 1998)

A Phoenix Out Of Fire Flames II

2009-04-01T18:47:00.006+03:00

I had a very lovely e-mail waiting for me when I got home this afternoon. It reads:
"Hello dear!
If I told you I was falling in love with you, would you catch me? ..."

Apparently a young gentleman from Holland found an old profile of mine on a book review site, and decided to sweep in and f*ck me sideways with this mindblowing line. I am sure no-one will be surprised that I have decided to leave my job and friends and go to live with him in his little opium den in Rotterdam. I imagine I will be somewhat unreachable the first four-five years as I plan to enter into the serial-pregnancy phase of my life. Hopefully my smoking, drinking and testing out the joys of various funghi will not give me problems in this era. Should my beloved pass away due to unexpected (or drug related) circumstances, I am confident my good friends in Finland will lodge me once my money and health runs out.

Meanwhile, in the real world, Norwegian newspapers were happy to announce this morning that Burt Bacharach is coming to Oslo. Who would have thought he was even still alive?

"He came riding fast like a phoenix out of fire flames.
He came dressed in black with a cross bearing my name.
He came bathed in light and the splendor and glory.
I can't believe what the lord has finally sent me."
PJ Harvey - The Dancer (To Bring You My Love, 1995)

We Won't Need A Map, Believe Me

2009-03-31T19:59:00.010+03:00

The company I work for has a financial year that starts in April, meaning today is basically our New Years Eve, only with less party and more stress. And, in true spirit, it has been a hectic one. I am starting to breathe normally now, and I think my pulse has come down to what can possibly be called a healthy level, but Christ! What a mess of a day. Let's hope the coming year treats my industry with softer gloves.

It's spring! This morning a very energetic pheasant was running around outside my building, and this wonderful bird caused me to arrive at work late. I still want my hour back, as it is difficult to wake up on time. Amazing what a difference 1 hour makes!

One thing that never stops fascinating me about spring is the rush of hormones to the head. Everywhere I go people are all caught up in new dating schemes and trying to figure out whom to build their summer around. One of my best friends in Finland is on the most thrilling adrenaline high I've ever seen from having her mojo back after a couple of rather... dry winter months, and it rubs off on the rest of us whether we want it to or not. We are so much like animals, aren't we?

Laws of attraction in general amuse me. I've previously blogged about how I figured it had something to do with the sense of smell. For me I know it's mostly down to words, which is probably why I like song lyrics and books so much. The fact that I like living in a country where most people keep silent is off course a contradiction in terms, but nevertheless that's how I operate. Others are visual creatures, and I guess there's an element in that for all of us.

How handy it would be if we could find a way to roadmap ourselves and how we relate to others. Confusion and nervousness would be a memory of the past, and there would be no need for mind games. Then again, that would negate our need for words, wouldn't it, and there would be no mystery left... so strike that. Things are fine the way they are.

Anyway, spring is here and it brought pheasants! :)

"Now let my body do the moving,
and let my hands do the soothing.
Let me show you the world in my eyes."
Depeche Mode - World In My Eyes (Violator, 1990)

Let Me In Your Window

2009-03-29T11:55:00.010+03:00

Another busy week is drawing to an end, and Finland has finally caught up with the summer time adjustment. That means I have one hour less to get through the sh*tload of stuff I have to do today, but I guess that could easily be remedied by me not writing blog posts, so there shall be no more moaning about that.

I went to Oslo on business on Friday, and had agreed with Hanne that I'd spend a night at her place. We had a very nice evening with wine, thai food, bad tv and catching up, and I'm really looking forward to having her over for Easter. (Many Finns seem to think the name of this holiday is Eastern, not sure why or if they think it has anything to do with the direction.)

Last night Sebastian's birthday party was celebrated with a lot of noise and little sense. Because I value the way my head is attached to my neck, I'll refrain from posting many pictures, but this one of a headbanging Miia kind of sums up the general splendor of it all.

Yesterday I finished reading Wuthering Heights. I don't know why I thought this book would be along the lines of Austen's romantic works, because it's not at all. I knew little about this book apart from the fact that Kate Bush wrote her first hit based on it, with one of the world's most misheard lyrics. I have to say that although getting through it takes a lot of alone time, it is worth the effort. Some books are classics because someone decided they should be, but this one is a good book. Am going to work my way through Jane Eyre next, I might as well do the Brontë sisters properly while I'm at it.

Finland was again seized by winter and cold yesterday, but now it seems the badness is melting away quickly. I can't wait for it to be warm enough for long Sundays on a blanket in the park with a great book and music in my ears. The indoors life is getting to me this year, I feel restless and kind of like I'm in danger of wasting precious time. My limbs need a good stretch, my skin some warmth, and my mind a bit of sun :)

Oh, and I need blinder curtains and a volunteer to hang them for me!

"Out on the winding, windy moors,
we'd roll and fall in green.
You had a temper like my jealousy,
too hot, too greedy.
How could you leave me
when I needed to possess you?
I hated you, but loved you, too."
Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights (The Kick Inside, 1978)

If God Leant His Voice For Me To Speak

2009-03-24T16:14:00.008+02:00

After The Keep, I started reading The Name of the Wind, a fantasy thing by Patrick Rothfuss. This took me more than a month to finish, as it is simply not a very good book. The story did manage to get me interested at some point during my flight to Seattle, and from then on it was smooth sailing, but you shouldn't have to force yourself through a hundred pages to get to such a point. He has a Tolkien thing going on (he thinks), and then he mixes in all kinds of D&D weirdness. Worst thing is it's just the first book of a series, so I don't even know how the story ends.

A few days into my stay in Seattle, I was very happy to pick up the next chapter in my growing obsession with Paul Auster. Having read his Travels in the Scriptorium and The Book of Illusions, I had great hopes for Timbuktu. Aaaand, he scores! Mr. Bones is the canine companion of slightly deranged (and homeless) Willy G. Christmas, who has come down with a rather unfortunate case of being about to die from some lung related ugliness.

Now, this is no ordinary mutt we're talking about here, Mr. Bones _knows_ what's going on. He understands human language, he thinks human language, and he remembers all the things you would expect a man's best friend to recollect. Unfortunately, the world doesn't always look upon homeless doggies with the kindest of eyes, and his life turns into a veritable whirlwind of difficult circumstances. If you, like me, believe dogs to have souls and minds of their own, and even better, if you enjoy other pieces of Auster's authorship, there's no need to think twice about picking up this book.

This evening I believe I will be able to finish Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights. No, I never read it when I was in school. Yes, it is bleak and depressing. Yes, I still like it.

I had another run-in with my old friend Insomnia last night, one of the worst encounters in years. I undoubtedly added to the severity of it by drinking coffee too late in the evening, after giving up on the drink months ago for this very reason. The result was lying awake until 04:30 in the morning, when I finally drifted off just to wake up three hours later in horrible shape for this morning's meetings.

"If I had one wish fulfilled tonight,
I'd ask for the sun to never rise.
If God leant his voice for me to speak,
I'd say "Go to bed, world."."
The Cardigans - 03.45: No Sleep (Long Gone Before Daylight, 2003)

I've Changed My Name Again

2009-03-23T23:31:00.000+02:00

Saturday Miia arranged a trip to Hartwall Arena, to see local hockey team Jokerit beaten by her hometown team Kärpät. Myself, Miia, Willem, Kjersti, Emilia, Sebastian and Margus set off, some of us without any idea of what we were getting into, and a couple of us a little scared. We'd heard scary stories of the violence surrounding Finnish hockey games, but luckily we saw little of it. What we did see, however, was a very entertaining game that got me a little sold on this sport that I've always hated. How very unexpected :)

After the game we ended up in Kaisla nonsensing the night away with a lot of happy cheering and beer, and Sunday morning was a horrible struggle. As the day proceeded, however, life picked itself up quite a bit, and the evening was spent with The Magnetic Fields, candles and a lovely glass of a 2005 Rosso Conero I've been saving for a rainy day.

Sometimes the good times come sneaking up on me out of nowhere :)
There is beauty in everything.

"Are you the trouble I've been looking for?"
The Magnetic Fields - The Trouble I've Been Looking For (Holiday, 1994)

See The World In Green And Blue Pt. II

2009-03-22T11:52:00.013+02:00

I am now officially all booked and ready for my summer trip to South America.

July 10th I will fly from Helsinki to Rio de Janeiro a few days before my actual trip starts, and stay there a total of six days as I want to break in the jetlag properly before I start hopping around. I hope some long days on Copacabana and Ipanema with a book and a coconut will shut work out from my mind right from the start.

From Rio I will fly to Iguazu, to see the Iguazu waterfalls from both the Brazilian and Argentinian side, and by this get my first brush with nature on the trip. Trying not to think about the spiders! From Iguazu I will take a night bus out to get to my next flight into the Pantanal wildlife reserve, where I will spend three days.

After this I am heading for Santa Cruz in Bolivia, which apparently might be somewhat difficult as the trains services are a bit unpredictable. It should take a maximum of two days, meaning I might, and might not, have time to spend in Santa Cruz itself before I enter the Amazon Amboro National park.

Have I not been eaten by spiders and/or piranhas, I am heading on from there to Vallegrande, the area where Che was killed in 67 getting a history injection. From there I go by bus to Cochabamba and from there on to La Paz. This should again take approximately two days, giving me two days in La Paz upon arrival. After adjusting to the altitude, I will continue on by bus to Oruro, and from there by train to Uyuni to see the salt desert, going on to Laguna Colorada and ending up in Laguna Verde where I will reach the highest altitude of the trip of around 5000 metres.

Having done Bolivia well and proper, I'll cross over into Chile, where I will spend a few days in the village San Pedro de Atacama, and from there on I'll go by bus to Santiago where I will spend a few days before flying back to Finland.

A whole month in places I've not seen before. I cannot wait.

"Touch me,
take me to that other place."
U2 - Beautiful Day (All That You Can't Leave Behind, 2000)

Music For The Masses

2009-03-21T09:42:00.013+02:00

The ridiculous amounts of good synthpop/electronic acts turning up in the Nordics over the coming months deserves some attention, rounding it off with the headline-heaviest Arvika there ever was.

Thursday 9th April @ Gloria - I am joining Dave and taking Hanne with me to go see Combichrist.

Wednesday 13th May @ Tavastia - I missed Client the two last times they were in town, so I guess it's about time I got going :)

Friday 15th May @ Nosturi - Bjørn & Co are playing Nosturi. Heaven knows I've seen Gothminister enough times to have served my friendly duty, but I guess I've never seen'em play in Finland.

Friday 22nd May @ Nosturi - I am going to try to get through IAMX without going all obsessed without Kiss & Swallow again.

Friday 12th-Sunday 14th June @ Seinäjoki - Provinssirock hosts Placebo, Editors and Nick Cave, and is a must for this summer. I have housing for this festival, so if it sounds interesting and you want to tag along, let me know!

Thursday 2nd-Saturday 4th July @ Arvika - Just when I had decided to miss this festival for the first time in seven years, they added NiN to their already very attractive line-up (Depeche Mode, amongst others), and I can not in any way defend not going. Project Pitchfork are playing the Lumous Gothic Festival in Tampere that same weekend, so I'm hoping they'll sweep down to Arvika as well.

Big names playing in Finland I'll be missing out on:
Metallica (sold out, but I've seen'em)
Korn (HAHA, THEY WERE JUST ANNOUNCED FOR ARVIKA :D)
Madonna (oh, I'll definitely survive. I would've loved to have seen her back in her Vogue days, though)
Kraftwerk (I'll be in South America)

"Will you take the pain I will give to you, again and again,
and will you return it?"
Depeche Mode - Strangelove (Music for the Masses - 1987)

I'll Show You The Boom?

2009-03-20T18:57:00.007+02:00

Had I written this post two days ago, it would be set to the tones of Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now. Today it is accompanied by Rihanna's Push Up On Me. The lyrics are infantile, but what can I say... it's stuck! I'm sorry about the extensive quoting at the end of this text, but just _look_ at it! :D

I know now why I needed a week of holiday. It must have been destiny's way to tell me there was no other way to survive the week I've just been through ;p Ok, it has actually been a great one, but if my manager ever goes on sick leave again I swear I will demand that the world stops for a while!

The Tuesday before my trip I had the pleasure of housing an old friend from Oslo, which was very nice. I haven't had visitors from Norway in... a very long time, but now Hanne has also booked her Easter holiday here, so it looks like it's picking up! I also went to a Friday night pub meeting of Norwegians in Helsinki, which was nice as it's not very often I get spoiled with sitting around a table all night and only speaking my native language. I can't say that means I actually want to very often, but for a change it was nice :)

This week I've been out for dinner with Kjersti on Tuesday, and tricked both us and Miia into thinking that it would be a good idea to go to the Weekly Welcome on Wednesday. So, again Thursday was somewhat challenging, but of course it was worth it as always. I'm spending my Friday with the CD's I bought in Seattle, a beer and a couple of movies.

Tomorrow I will go to my first ever hockey game. Hockey is not a very big thing in Norway, and not many people I know have ever been to a game. Here, it is _the_ national sport if there ever was one, and it's actually weird to have been here three years without having been to a game. I'm hoping the things I've heard about violent fans are just designed to scare small, fragile blondes and that all will be sunshine. Should I come out of it all broken and bruised, I'm blaming Miia :)

Catch you on the flipside!

"I know many guys just like ya, extremely confident.
Got so much flavour with you like you're the perfect man.
You wanna make me chase ya like it's a compliment,
but let's get right down to it;
I can be the girl that'll break you down.

The way that you stare starts a fire in me,
come up to my room, you sexy little thing.
Now let's play a game, I won't be a tease.
I'll show you the boom, my sexy little thing."
Rihanna - Push Up On Me (Good Girl Gone Bad, 2007)

Travel Just By Folding The Map

2009-03-16T22:21:00.012+02:00

I am back in Espoo after a week in Seattle. And, I might add, not entirely happy about it.
It took me a couple of days to warm to the place. I mean, I am a little afraid of Americans, at least the crazy ones (and Seattle have a lot of crazy ones), and I was jetlagged like hell to begin with. Once I got over it, though, I have to say this is one of the best places I've ever visited.

My friend Quinn, who in December migrated back from Finland to Seattle after living and working here for a year, was kind enough to house me during my stay. From where she lives I was in walking distance to Capitol Hill and downtown, where I spent most of my week. I did a bit of seightseeing in her hood, but must admit the empty (completely dead in the daytime) streets lined with wooden houses with windchimes hanging on the porches scared the bejeezus out of me! Instant Stephen King movie flashbacks all over the place! Once I got over that as well, however, it was all sunshine and lovely :)

I went to the aquarium (I once wanted to become a marine biologist, and am still very fascinated with everything marine), and although it was not as neat as the London one it was good fun. Didn't have the guts to pet the starfish, but I did poke a lobster around a bit. I also went on a ferry trip to Bainbridge, one of the islands outside Seattle, and spent a lovely couple of hours rambling around in the tiny shops out there. The ferry ride was a nice change from the hilly streets of the city, and as I was blessed with sun most of my week I managed to get a bit freckly :)

Although I usually try to stay clear of the _most_ touristy places when I travel, the Space Needle lured me in with the promise of a great view of the surrounding mountain ranges in the clear spring weather... and I am pleased to say I was not disappointed. Even ended up having a long lunch and found a random bookreading talkative fellow on a neighbouring table to share a couple of beers with (as always with me when I travel there were healthy amounts of beer and books, the greatest travel combo ever!).

Quinn was a lovely hostess, and introduced me to several of her friends. It is very rare for me to meet people I instinctively want to attach my life to, but I was lucky enough to meet not only one, but four of these on this trip; Lovely Nicole and Mitra, Jesse and Kat will leave Quinn-friends shaped holes in my future. I hope my road will cross theirs again at some point. Also big thanks to Kyle, Mary and Dominic who kindly accepted me as their house guest for a week!

During my stay, Quinn turned 30, and this was celebrated in an artist's loft in SoDo, with formal wear (I was forced to go gown-shopping and accidentally ended up with five dresses, will upload pictures) and a lot of people. I hope to get access to some good photos from this event that I can upload, as it held a lot of gorgeous individuals in very pretty clothing :)

"I wish the world was flat like the old days,
then I could travel just by folding the map.
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways,
there'd be no distance that could hold us back."
Death Cab For Cutie - The New Year (Transatlanticism, 2004)

All The Black Is Really White

2009-03-01T18:49:00.005+02:00

"Watch the sun, as it crawls across a final time
and it feels like, like it was a friend.
It is watching us, and the world we set on fire.
Do you wonder if it feels the same?

And the sky is filled with light, can you see it?
All the black is really white if you believe it.
As your time is running out,
let me take away your doubt.
You can find a better a place in this twilight."
Nine Inch Nails - In This Twilight (Year Zero, 2007)

Seasons In The Sun

2009-02-28T18:35:00.005+02:00

Argh, this has been an insane week.

On Wednesday I weekly welcomed myself well into the early hours the next morning, enjoying good company in the new location - Cuba. It is amazing how I've been to this particular event so many times and never learn to go home early. It was good fun, though. Thursday Movie Night hosting went out the window when the maddest work week ever claimed another victim in form of the evening spent in the office, and Friday morning it felt like I'd never even left. Thankfully that was the last day of the month, so when my old Distribution team got together for Tori dinner and WGB beers in the evening the scene was all set to party and dance into the wee hours once again. How am I still alive to be writing this? I do wonder.

I wish summer would hurry up. Today has been a very lovely day in Finland, but I so long for the sun to add some warmth to this frigid year. Spring will be very welcome indeed.

Last night I was contacted by a friend I have not seen in what must be close to five years. Apparently, he's coming to Helsinki on Wednesday for a day of work, and I sense Bar 9 chicken, Cuba drinks and another tired Thursday ahead. Saturday I board my flight to Seattle and will be free of all work related shackles for a full week :)

"Now that the spring is in the air,
pretty girls are everywhere."
Terry Jacks - Seasons In The Sun (single, 1974)
I realised _after_ publishing this post, when humming in my kitchen, that this track shares the above line with the song that titles my last post. How funny, I have to figure out if was intentional from PR's side. Also, I _am_ aware that Terry Jacks was in fact not the creator of this piece of music, but this is the version I subscribe to. Kiitos :)

Pretty Girls Are Everywhere?

2009-02-23T17:43:00.006+02:00

On July 4th 2007, Times Online published a list of the, in their view, 50 all-time worst footballers in English football's top division. In second place of this very entertaining read, you will find one of my teenage heroes, Tomas Brolin;
"Hard to imagine that Leeds United, normally a model of fiscal probity, paid £4.5m for the Swedish meatball in 1995. A good footballer treats his body like a temple. Brolin’s was a bouncy castle."

Brolin was part of Sweden's -94 World Championship team. I had a summer crush on him and Niklas Strömsted (the crush on the latter actually lasted for years) after the GES music video for När Vi Gräver Guld i USA (the Swedish World Cup anthem that year). That was before Brolin turned into a total meatball.

Why this piece of football crush trivia all of a sudden? In addition to extensive amounts of time with friends, this weekend brought with it a bit of beer and two football games. Arsenal vs Sunderland and Man U vs Blackburn on Saturday were both rather dull games, the first one in particular, but my girly crowd of companions managed to find plenty of consolation in the very handsome goalies in the first and ridiculously beautiful Ronaldo in the second. Lo and behold, pretty men bridged yet another gap :)

The list also holds this quote by a fellow Gunner and favorite author of mine, Nick Hornby:
“... painfully, obviously, out of his depth ... he looked like a rabbit frozen to the spot ... and then he starts to thrash about, horribly and pitifully...” (referring to Gus Caesar).

"Open your eyes and look around,
you'll always find pretty girls are everywhere."
Pleasures Remain - Pretty Girls (Magmatears - 2004)

See The World In Green And Blue

2009-02-20T14:52:00.010+02:00

My summer holiday request has spent three weeks on my manager's desk, and today he signed it. I've not had more than two consecutive weeks of holiday since 2004, but this summer I will have four, in South America :)

"Reach me,
I know I'm not a hopeless case."
U2 - Beautiful Day (All That You Can't Leave Behind, 2000)

Hold Your Breath And Count To Ten

2009-02-19T11:07:00.005+02:00

Not only are Placebo and Editors both releasing new albums this year, they are playing in Finland on Provinssirock! I almost fell off my chair just now :D

"Hold your breath and count to ten,
and fall apart and start again."
Placebo - English Summer Rain (Sleeping With Ghosts, 2003)

Is There Anybody Out There?

2009-02-18T09:33:00.002+02:00

Today's topic is a blog post theme I have not explored in a while. Who are the readers of this blog? Some of you I know about (let's call you group A), and the room it gives me to tailor my contents soothes me a little and makes it more fun to blog as it works as a memory pad of sorts. We discuss things, I blog about them, and vice versa.

Then there are those of you that I know about, but that have not acknowledged the fact that you read my blog (you would be group B for the purpose of this exercise). You guys are harder to relate to, as you might actually not want me to know that you read the blog. Fortunately you form a small group, and I'll be very pleased the day you decide to drop me a comment and confirm your existence in my virtual sphere.

The last group (C), which is still by far the biggest one, consists of all the people I have no idea who are. You guys are the second most fun, as you often quite randomly stumble in and have no reason to expect anything from my ramblings. Some of you know me, some of you think you know me, some of you are complete strangers and come here looking for a good-looking picture of a gorgeous actress or reviews on Recipes for Disaster.

Why the return to this topic? Last night, during a spontaneous (and hilariously brilliant) girls' night out, Miia commented that she can't always follow my blog references to movies or books because she will rarely have heard of them, but that every once in a while something pops up that she recognizes. Also, she has seen some movie with Marilyn Monroe that I have not even heard of, so ten points and hats off to that :)

After this again, I got into a conversation where the following chain of events was revealed:
A couple of weeks ago I posted an entry in which I expressed no small amount of disappointment with myself on the personal development arena. It has since been taken down, as time sometimes allows me to remember that anger and resentment will only move me backwards and hence I should let it go. Before I removed it it was, however, read by some of the people mentioned above.

Two separate entities, let's call them B1 and C1 read said blog entry and felt a need to investigate as to the general state of affairs. To do so, they contacted a third party, let's call the person A1, who had not read the post, and I do not know if the three of them managed to get anywhere in their ponderings. Subsequently, as this apparently roused the curiosity of said A1, the chain was further prolonged to another one of my friends (A2), who then last night went on to mention all of this to the source of worry, myself.

Now, I have no problems understanding why such a complicated chain of people would come into existence, as people are better aqquainted with some people than others and are not always comfortable with asking questions if they think it will offend. It does, however, become rather weird for me once the chain is revealed. I mean, come on people! We're not passing notes around the class room anymore, and I don't want to start blogging undercover again :)

I'm fine. Someone I cared deeply about and still do has chosen a different path than I had anticipated, and although I am not ok with that nor will I ever be, it does not throw my entire existence off balance. I left my life in Oslo more than three years ago and have built a new one with new people, new memories and new behavioral patterns, and although I cannot rid myself of my ghosts I know how to live with them. If this particular ghost should at some point want to join that life, it will be welcomed with open arms. In the meantime, it is just a ghost that sometimes comes out to say "Boo!".

I would be so much happier if you after reading the blog posts that are about my day-to-day life would leave me a comment or send me an e-mail and let me know you're out there and thinking of me every once in a while than I am by knowing you worry without being comfortable enough to contact me. I've already accumulated enough bad karma through the years, so no bad worry-vibes please :)

"Woke up this morning and my head was in a daze.
A brave new world has dawned upon the human race,
where words are meaningless and everything's surreal.
Gonna have to reach my friends to find out how I feel.

And if I taste the honey is it really sweet?
And do I eat it with my hands or with my feet?
Does anybody really listen when I speak,
or will I have to say it all again next week?"
Shakespears Sister - Hello (Hormonally Yours, 1992)

Do You Need A Woman To Look After You?

2009-02-16T17:07:00.010+02:00

I'm on a roll, blog production wise. In a few minutes I will head out the door to go to an international second hand bookstore in the city. I've not been there before, but this evening they have a session on the English translation of Tove Jansson's material. Now, I'm no big fan of the Moomin mythos, but it seems like an excellent way to get to know a new bookstore. I've lately been nurturing a poorly hidden, but up until now secret desire to come across some more of Sartre's works, or possibly a good-looking hardback edition of Masoch's Venus in Furs. (In the end the evening didn't really turn out like that, but somewhere out there there's a shiny, new powerpoint presentation on a memory stick!)

Last night, as I was trying my damndest to finish one more knitting project before laziness comes back to seize me, I had Tori Amos' music video collection Fade To Red playing on the tv. I am a selective fan of Tori Amos, meaning I do not believe everything she has touched to be gold, but part of her repertoire is bliss (pun intended, if you didn't get it never mind). It was the first time I watched the dvd, as all of her videos are already on my computer and I prefer to put on a record when I just want to listen. I put on the commentary audio track to see if she had any interesting trivia for me to connect with any of the songs.

A couple of pieces of interesting information I did get out of last night's hearing.
1) she's no stranger to over indulgence. Good for her!
2) the video for Spark is heavily influenced by Twin Peaks (can't believe I haven't caught that before, she practically _is_ Laura Palmer in those woods).
3) the shaving of the legs in God is meant to be understood as a ritual of cleansing. Huh.
4) Tori Amos is an off-the-charts feminist. Seriously, you should hear this commentary! If you've seen the Friends episode where the girls go on about how men steal their wind, you will get a good laugh from the Caught A Lite Sneeze video comments, where Tori (or Myra Ellen, as her real name is) goes on about how she felt a need to steal fire from the men and find her voice and oh my God, I am so not that kind of feminist and have huge difficulties relating to it!

All that said, I still love the songs I loved before, and she is so pretty I can easily forgive a bit of new age feminist empowerment mumbo jumbo. Don't get me wrong, I am _all_ for equal rights and standing up for one self, but I think it can be done using a language all women can relate to without wanting to chop mens' private parts off with rusty knives.

Now, a little trivia she did not embroider in her commentary, to my vast disappointment:
a) her friendship with Neil Gaiman (there's shitloads of stuff on her friendship with various hairdressers and make-up artists, however).
b) the fact that Reznor contributes with backing vocals on Past The Mission was not even mentioned, she only ranted on about how the women on the set recognized the deep, inner strength her mother possesses.
c) in general her issues with Reznor. She's been quoted to say that what Trent really needs is a blanky and hot chocolate with marshmallows, which I find hilarious. She has also done a cover of Hurt where she goes on about how he's this little boy who hurt himself to get attention. (My friend Vidar in Oslo will no doubt agree with her on that, he pretty much thinks Trent's a whining bitch.) She put the phrase "made my own pretty hate machine" (reference to a NiN album) into the lyrics of the above mentioned Caught a Lite Sneeze.

Ok, that's it for now.
Man, my geekiness is really getting the best of me these days. I guess I should have taken the philosophy class I was planning on this spring, as it seems I have more than enough time to ponder various connections on my free time :)

"God, sometimes you just don't come through."
Tori Amos - God (Under The Pink, 1994)

That's The Long And That's The Short Of It

2009-02-15T16:20:00.006+02:00

Placebo is to release a new album in June this year. They have a new drummer onboard after Hewitt left them a couple of years back, but I doubt that'll have much impact on the sound. As I had Once More With A Feeling on in the background while ironing shirts last night, I unexpectedly rediscovered my love for one of their lesser known tracks - Twenty Years. It was the only new song on their 2004 Best of release, and is rathar similar to Protect Me From What I Want, my favorite song by the band (alongside their brilliant cover of Kate Bush's Running Up That Hill).

Another of Placebo's truly great songs, Without You I'm Nothing, was improved vastly when David Bowie wrote a harmony for it and requested that the band release a coop single. Which brings us onto The Thin White Duke's brilliance in artist collaborations in general. 1985 track Dancing In The Street (w/Mick Jagger) and 1992 track Under Pressure (w/Annie Lennox) excluded, I love it when he mixes it up with other artists. Especially the Pet Shop Boys remix of Hello Spaceboy and I'm Afraid of Americans (the Reznor remix) are amongst my favorites, and if you haven't heard his live performance with Arcade Fire of the latters' Wake Up it is definitely worth checking out. To make this paragraph EVEN MORE interesting (as if that was even possible, and I'm not kidding when I say that) Bowie also did backing vocals on the on several occassions previously mentioned Scarlett Johansson cover of Tom Waits' Falling Down.

With a few sentences I have drawn a line from David Bowie via Mick Jagger and Annie Lennox (who did Love Song For A Vampire for Bram Stoker's Dracula, the movie in which Tom Waits plays Renfield), through Pet Shop Boys (also releasing a new album this year, in March), Nine Inch Nails and Arcade Fire down to Scarlett Johansson and by that tied it all back up with Tom Waits and David Bowie.

Without planning to I just now let this blog into what is more or less the core of my music related geekiness. Add a couple of connections, tie up some red strings, and you have my undivided attention. If all artists were better at collaborating and sharing projects, I would have no free time what so ever. I am a geek. Whoddathunk?

"You're the truth, not I."
Placebo - Twenty Years (Once More With A Feeling, 2004)

Make Me A Pretty Person

2009-02-14T09:37:00.016+02:00

The music disorder continues. After Mayer I had a brief flirt with The Corrs' 2000 album In Blue, followed by days of Tom Waits collection The Asylum Years, and then last night my eyes fell on Garbage's Version 2.0 (1998). This record was one of two (the other one was NiN's Downward Spiral) that in -98 broke me out of my Celine Dion era and into what developed into my taste in music. I was introduced to both by my high school sweetheart Eivind, so I guess I owe him one or two(alternatively he owes me the thousands of Euros I have standing around in the form of records ;)).

The main reason for loving Version 2.0 was, of course, the lyrics. I like Garbage in general, but this was my introduction to them. When I Grow Up, Push It, The Trick Is To Keep Breathing, Sleep Together and You Look So Fine were regular parts of my soundtrack for years, and I guess I'd still throw The Trick Is To Keep Breathing and Sleep Together in there for good old times' sake. I also had a minor thing for Shirley Manson at some point. Not sure why - in the video for Push It she shoves her entire fist into her mouth, and that's really not very sexy. Apparently she is now acting in a TV series called Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (a bit disturbing), and she's done a duet with previously mentioned Gavin Rossdale as well as an unreleased Human League cover with Marilyn Manson. Interesting trivia indeed!

This week has been a mess. Tuesday and Wednesday I was supposed to spend the days in Financial Awareness training, which I was looking forward to as it presented a welcomed break from business planning. Tuesday was great, but on Wednesday morning I had to excuse myself to make a phone call, and after taking ten steps all hell broke loose. The planet was spinning, I couldn't breathe, and suddenly I was on the second floor and just plain ill. Spent the rest of the day and Thursday at home.

Thursday evening I braved the exhaustedness to take a 13 people Movie Night to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and boy am I glad I did. I expected it to be an ok movie, I like Brad Pitt and have no problems with Cate Blanchett, but this I just did not see coming. The movie is beautiful! Some of the scenes are so gorgeous they will break your heart and mend it all at once. Definitely recommendable, both men and women will like the film (not only because of the lead actors and how beautifully they have been airbrushed, but because it's a really good story).

I've finished four knitting projects this week (I shit you not, ladies and gentlemen), including two pairs of socks that have been laying around since spring. I've also finished reading The Keep by Jennifer Egan, a book that really did not live up to expectations. An inmate at state prison starts taking a writing class, and falls in love with the teacher. He has a weird cell mate who listens to dead people in a carton he believes to be a spiritual radio. Or is the book actually about an ancient castle somewhere in Europe where a bunch of Americans are disturbing the peace by attempting to turn it into a hotel? I did not find it boring, don't get me wrong, it's just not... very memorable.

As mentioned, some weeks ago I also finished Breaking Dawn, a copy of which I finally secured after dragging Deb a bit around Akademiska. The disapproving of its twists and turns sounds a bit hypocritical of me - I claim to like fiction, but do not approve of books taking twists and turns outside my liking? Well, that might be so, but there you have it. I do not approve.

This morning I will gather together some material for a new knitting project and set course to Vantaa to hook up with Deb. Am still quite exhausted from the week, so I have a feeling that will be about it from me this weekend. Next week is business plan hearing and I think there'll be some late nights. Might ditch Movie Night to have an evening for myself, but then again that might change as there are many critically acclaimed movies on at the moment.

"Darling,
how would it feel?"
Garbage - Sleep Together (Version 2.0, 1998)

Split Screen Sadness

2009-02-06T06:45:00.006+02:00

The Spirit was not very good. Although visually quite interesting, the story, the dialogue and the characters were mostly horrible. I'll not say the actors did a poor job, because I seriously doubt anyone could've lifted this film from the deepest sinkholes of misery.

Last night Movie Night went to see Valkyrie, Tom Cruise's take on German resistance during WWII. I'm not a big fan of war related movies as they usually make me cry, and although for a different reason this movie didn't do much to win me over. First of all, it's extremely Hollywood'y, and the British/American/Australian accents of the German soldiers made that studio production feel stronger. Most of my dislike comes from my imagination, however. I like not knowing how things will end. Both books and movies only really grip me when they speak to my "could've been". This one did, of course, not. Fiction, not facts, is where I get my kicks :)

It again seems to me I'm living from weekend to weekend, the workdays flying by in a grainy mist. During the course of this week I've finally managed to get my March trip to Seattle ok'd by my manager, and can't wait to see Quinn again. I've also made a request for a full month of vacation during summer, as I want to go to South America and want to do it properly.

I've started using the gym downstairs at work (ok, me and Kjersti have only been once so far, but my muscles are really sore and we're going back tomorrow), and finished reading Breaking Dawn. The story took some weird twists and turns and ended up in something I don't really approve of, and hence I am pleased to say I am for now cured of my Twilight saga obsession. Wouldn't mind getting me a bit of Carlisle, but I guess I'll have to stick with real-life people instead.

Music wise I am still not moving in any sort of alphabetical direction. The other day my eyes fell upon John Mayer's Heavier Things (2003) in my shelves. Can't remember where or when I bought it, but I know I never listened to it. Although I can't say I see what women like Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston see in this man as far as his looks are concerned, this record is quite good. Split Screen Sadness has me on a massive repeat roll that I expect to last for another couple of days.

Be nice to each other, you guys. If there's an afterlife you don't want to spend it paying for all the bad karma you've accumulated by making other people feel sad.

"I'll check the weather wherever you are
'cause I want to know if you can see the stars tonight."
John Mayer - Split Screen Sadness (Heavier Things, 2003)

This Is Love, This Is Porn

2009-01-28T16:05:00.001+02:00

I am still the busiest of bees, and still enjoying it :)

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas was a good movie, very true to the book. My friend Paul had seen it with his son the day before Movie Night, and warned me I would probably cry - which I off course did. Loads! It was worth it, though. Tomorrow I'm taking Movie Night to see The Spirit, and although the reviews have been rather poor I'm really looking forward to it!

Saturday I met up with Deb, whom I hadn't seen for weeks, for Bar 9 lemon chicken and knitting, before I went to Melody's house warming party in Espoo in the evening. Due to another engagement (real ale festival in Gallow's Bird), the stop at her place was cut rather short, but it was a lovely apartment and full of a lot of lovely people :)

The ale festival was a lot of fun and nonsense, with Dave, David and Dave's friend Stefan. David turned into a pumpkin around midnight, whereas I proceeded to get my brain well pickled and spent all of Sunday trying to get out of bed (no success).

This week I've so far completed my input in the first business plan submission, hamburgerized with Lotta, and finished reading Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. I have the Hugh Grant version of the movie, but it only works halfway and hence I never knew how it ended. Such a charming story! And so funny! It is normally regarded as inferior to Pride and Prejudice, which I now cannot wait to get started with. Have to read Breaking Dawn first, though, so no social activities for me this weekend :)

"And I wanna hear what you have to say about me!
Hear if you're gonna live without me!
I wanna hear what you want...
What the hell do you want?"
Damien Rice - I Remember (O, 2002)

The Songs Are In Your Eyes

2009-01-22T16:19:00.002+02:00

Most days are good days. Some days are a bit shittier than others, and then there are the days where you basically wish you had not bothered to get out of bed. Today is one of those last ones. In fact, I am quite sure today would have been a blossom of a day if I'd spent it in bed. In the office it's been more like a rotting cactus.

I'm going to see The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas with Movie Night this evening, and will probably end up sobbing my eyes out. (I don't know if you can tell, but my level of commitment to this day really does leave a thing or two to be desired.)

On a completely different note, my CD listening project is going nowhere fast. First Richard Ashcroft tricked me into skipping both The Ark and Ash, and now I'm for some reason spending my days in the office with U2 and at home with Damien Rice. Three months, and I'm still not out of the A's. It'll take me until 2025 to get to Cajsa-Stina Åkerström at this rate.

"I've had enough of romantic love."
U2 - Miracle Drug (How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, 2004)

Walk On

2009-01-19T07:44:00.001+02:00

1 car
2 cars
3 cars
4 cars
...
253 cars

The meaning of life, ladies and gentlemen, is (at least partly) 253. At least for the next couple of weeks.

So, Meyer's vampires. I still have not been able to get a copy of Breaking Dawn, as it gets sold out in a matter of hours after the stores get new supplies. Have reserved a copy from tomorrow's Akademiska shipment, though, so in a couple of days I'll be able to close off my latest obsession.

The movie was not what I thought it would be. For someone who has not read the books I assume it is more or less impossible to make sense of as it jumps through the storyline with insane speed. Having read the books, however, the dialogue and characters are very much in line with the Forks world in your head. I must admit I giggled quite a bit.

Jasper was all wrong, not at all in line with how I read him. Carlisle, as portrayed by Peter Facinelli (the husband of 90210's Jennie Garth), was also a bit off, but in a far more positive manner. In fact, that actor makes such an outlandishly pretty vampire he took most of my Edward focus away. And I don't usually _like_ blond men.

So... I'm hooked. Sorry about that, I usually consider myself rather more levelheaded and not so prone to teenage fancies, but what can I say? Let's hope Breaking Dawn allows me to move on, I've started reading Sense and Sensibility and will continue with the rest of Austen's works once the Cullens have left my sphere.

"All that you measure, all that you feel,
all this you can leave behind."
U2 - Walk On (All That You Can't Leave Behind, 2000)

I Love To Hate You

2009-01-13T18:03:00.010+02:00

I am so busy! We're in the middle of the BP09 process, and at the same time I'm juggling two other major projects, _and_ have to keep in mind I still want to fit into these skirts of mine two weeks from now everytime I walk into a store!

The last couple of weeks have been great, with the exception of a nasty flu that jumped up and bit me. It died away by Wednesday last week, but then on Friday it returned full force and it still hasn't really let go. Only had to stay away from work for one day, though, so it hasn't been half bad with the exception of totally losing my voice in Dave's house warming party and as a result sounding like I was strung out on bad whiskey the entire evening :)

I've had a couple of lemon chicken incidents, one involving spontanious post-drunkedness with Dave and Sebastian, two yarn shopping trips, one knitting group introduction (scary), two seasons of Friends, a couple of football games, burger bonanza with Lotta and way too little sleep. It didn't make anything better that I started to read the Stephenie Meyer vampire books last Thursday, starting with Twilight, continuing with New Moon and then finally last night I finished Eclipse. For some reason I thought there were only three of them, and hence I am now on a mission to secure Breaking Dawn. And if the story doesn't end there, I'll freaking kill someone!

They are quite good, by the way. Not Nobel prize winning material, but then again, they _are_ vampire books. Easily read, and some of the characters are easily loved. Oh, and there is no cheesy sex. Some tension, but no sex at all, in fact. At least not in the first three books. Always admirable when it's vampire stories we're talking about.

On that subject (Meyer's stories, not sex), I am going to see the film adaptation of Twilight with Movie Night tomorrow. Thursday the Nordic dealer board is visiting for the day, and we'll go out for dinner in the evening. Friday I might go to my first Synapsi, if my four o'clock head dresser visit doesn't exhaust me completely. And then; weekend :D

Just to make one thing clear; The title of this post is not in reference to anyone I know or don't know, it just happens to be one of my favorite songs and Erasure is on my mind today. Life's good, my friends :)

"Love and hate, what a beautiful combination."
Erasure - Love To Hate You (Chorus, 1991)

Please Forgive Me

2009-01-04T21:18:00.009+02:00

I've had a long, long break from David Gray, and kind of forgot how good he makes me feel. I'm not really supposed to listen to his records, as I'm still supposed to be working on my A's (am now on Richard Ashcroft), but what can I say? I've got half a mind to scream out loud, I've got half a mind to die!

In October I broke 1 year and 7 months of not smoking and returned to that stupid, filthy and disgusting habit. Another NYE and I am again smoke-free, without any hesitation around whether or not it will last, and I can not believe that I fell for the charm of it after such a long break.

My Christmas holiday was good, although very full of family and in that manner a bit much for my solitary cavewoman self. Working in Norway the days between Christmas and NYE was an excellent choice, as it was rather quiet and un-stressful, and NYE itself was an unusual celebration of friendship with people that know and love each other. It's not always flowers and sunshine when I visit Norway, but that was a night to remember.

Over Christmas I learnt that a friend of mine had been left by his wife. Things get fucked up every once in a while, and I usually don't dwell on them, but in this case it struck something in me. I do not at all know the wife in question, but this friend of mine is one of the few truly excellent men I've met. It always comes as a surprise to me when people I look up to encounter difficulties. I know they are human and not immune to trouble, but still. If they get run over, then how the hell am I supposed to be able to protect my heart? There's no way.

2009 will have to be a good year. 2008 was good, but involved some mistakes that I know to avoid this time around. Here's to not making them twice :)

"Please forgive me if I act a little strange,
for I know not what I do.
Feels like lightning running through my veins
every time I look at you."
David Gray - Please Forgive Me (White Ladder, 1999)

Please Don't Stop The Music

2008-12-30T21:30:00.003+02:00

In another part of the world the people of two Gods are slaughtering each other like animals. All in the name of the patriarch Gods they believe watches over them. How come people are so quick to dismiss the humanitarian powers of religion, while they so easily embrace the destruction of their neighbours?

I have spent more time during 2008 listening to music than I can remember ever doing before, but I am struggling to put together a favorite list from the year. Most of the problem is caused by the fact that I've been buying truckloads of records, but they have been releases from previous years. So here goes:

Albums
Death Cab For Cutie - Narrow Stairs
Kings of Leon - Only By The Night
The Raconteurs - Consolers Of The Lonely

Singles
Rihanna - Don't Stop The Music
Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Possess Your Heart
Ladytron - Ghosts
Coldplay - Viva La Vida
The Killers - Human
Scarlett Johansson - Falling Down

Concerts
The Cure, Oslo
Editors, Helsinki
Death Cab for Cutie @ Arvika
Interpol @ Arvika
Kent @ Arvika
Robyn @ Arvika
Servoskudd @ Elektrostat
Bon Jovi, Helsinki
Bruce Springsteen, Helsinki
Monomen, Oslo

In other words, album-wise it's been a poor year for me because I simply haven't been paying attention to new releases. Concert-wise, it's been awesome :-)

Tomorrow I have to work for a couple of hours before I can hook up with friends at Richard's place to rid myself of 2008. I wish you all a great NYE and a wonderful start of 2009.

You Can Have What's Left Of Me

2008-12-29T12:38:00.000+02:00

Sometimes I get caught without ever seeing it coming. It grabs a fistful of my hair and drags me in. Ok, so I'm a sucker for ballads, but I mean... Jessica Simpson's ex husband? I saw Employee of the Month during Christmas, by the way. Not the best of movies, that one.

Christmas is over, and in two days so is the year. In many ways 2008 has been a good one. New job, loads of new and brilliant friends, a lot of laughter and plenty of records, concerts, travels, movies and books. Still, off course, something's always wrong! People are this year's hang-up. People that are not what they seem to be, sometimes more, sometimes less. It's frustrating the hell out of me, and I suspect it'll grow worse every year. On a good note it must be said that this year has had more people being better than expected than vice versa.

I always blog a year summary list with best records, concerts and trips, but that'll have to wait for another day. Today I will hook up with Hanne after I leave the office, and expect to have a morally productive conversation with her. And a beer or two. :)

And We're Dancing...

2008-12-17T17:43:00.002+02:00

Work is crazy at the moment - we have some kick-ass campaigns running and they have to be tracked on a daily basis. A lot of Excels flying around, as always :)

When reviewing books a couple of posts down I completely forgot about Milan Kundera's Slowness. I don't know whether I should be appalled or relieved that the genious that delivered The Unbearable Lightness of Being is also capable of producing such utter nonsense as this book, but I'll chew it over some more. I read it before I started McEwan's The Comfort of Strangers, and man, was that a change of pace. Kundera "follows" a real time couple staying in a French chateau hotel, where the man imagines up the story of two other couples, one real time and one from times long past. The story's feeble attempts on sensuality, eroticism and rawness fall dead at his feet, and it was a waste of time to read through. Don't spend money on it.

Following my week in London/Oslo I've spent a lot of good time with friends, and I've managed to plan my Christmas. I'll be going to Sweden to spend a week at the farm, and I am _so_ much looking forward to it! I will surely miss my dog who passed away last year, but it will be good to spend some time with my family.

Before going on holiday I finished The End of Mr Y by Scarlett Thomas. Being a metaphysical exercise in supernatural disguise, this book was right down my alley and I was sad to turn the last page. The story follows a Ph.D. student who stumbles upon a book not meant for reading, and it throws her into a veritable whirlwind of issues to be handled in a matrix outside the normal level of consciousness. If you tend to go for real life, down to earth stories, this is not for you, but if your mind likes to dabble in more philosophical questions with a great story attached you should like it.

My first vacation read (of many) was The Dream of a Beast by Neil Jordan. Blah. Very hot summer in the city, greenery everywhere and soldiers in the streets. Boring office worker transforms into something different, something vile that causes his wife to throw him out of his home. Time overlaps and he's dating his daughter? Then he lives on a roof, sleeps in a rug and hangs out with bats in the elevator. Weirdness gets worse, he drowns a kid (I think) and suddenly he's back with his wife? I gave up on this story mid-way. Might make an interesting screenplay, but as a book it's somewhat of a waste of time and energy to try to figure out.

Better luck with The Lamplighter by Anthony O'Neill. My mother commented on the good looks of the author, and although I hardly think that has anything to do with the state of things I have to admit her right. He's a looker. The book is a good, old-fashioned detective story with a supernatural twist. The bodies of men slaughetered in the most wicked of ways keep turning up in 19th century Edinburgh, and the crimes are attempted solved by a pompous detective on one side, a metaphysics professor and his friend the graveyard watchman on the other. And sides is the main word here, as it becomes clear that the events can all be linked to the young Evelyn Todd and her long-time buddy Leerie. A good vacation read, and in particular one for long, cold winter nights.

Next stop on the reading bus route was Roddy Doyle's The Snapper. For an anglofile like myself, the dialogue of this book is spot on. If you have problems with reading Irish dialect, however, you'll stumble and fall from the get-go. The cover boasts that this book is "rip-snorting funny", and although I didn't really like the sound of that to begin with I have to sign myself up as a believer. Sharon Rabitte gets pregnant out of wedlock, and not entirely by own will. The book follows her in the process of relaying the information to her family and friends, and watches the mayhem that unfolds when speculation around the identity of the baby's father kicks off in the local community. Although the subject matter of the story is not something I'd normally recommend for a good read, I laughed out loud enough times in public places while reading this book to give it a good rate.

Visiting Porsgrunn I picked up a bunch of books from my mother's bookstore, Susan Hill's The Man in the Picture being one of them. I read her The Woman in Black last year, and _loved_ it. This woman can really write an old fashioned ghost story, like the ones I used to love as a child. The Man in the Picture is not as good as The Woman in Black, but still a good read about the powers of an old Venetian oil painting and the characters in it. It's a straight up, no fuzz, old style ghost story.

Phew!

David Guterson's Our Lady of the Forest has been with me since my February London visit, and it now returned to the English capitol to finally be read. 16 year-old Ann Holmes is a rather messed up and unlikely candidate for Marian apparitions, but alas, she stumbles upon Our Good Lady on a mushroom picking walk. The mother of Jesus gives her a list of instructions, and the quest to make herself believed and to build a church in the woods begins. In the process she is helped (or is she?) by the non-believing, pot smoking Carolyn and the local Catholic priest, and you get an interesting view of how Catholic fundamentalists can go a bit overboard. I'm happy I read the book, but wouldn't recommend that you go out of your way to get it.

Hellraiser creator Clive Barker released his latest novel, Mr B Gone, in 2007. It's the first book by him I've read, and I started it on an extremely cold night at Holmen Fjordhotell in Asker. The setting was just right for Barker's story about the minor demon Jakabok, fished out of Hell by a group of vile demon hunters and launched into the wicked world of man. He falls in love, creates havoc, messes with angels, and it would seem he in the end gets trapped in a book. Well, shit happens. It's an entertaining read, but not much more than that.

A Song From The Wrong Side Of Town

2008-12-09T17:27:00.010+02:00

My 08 summer holiday took me to London for a week. In December. Well, better late than never, right? :)

I had plenty of chances to hang out with friends and my brother who lives there, and I had enough alone-time to be sufficiently introvert for my liking. Still, I can not help wish I'd stayed at home instead, because most of the time what I really wanted to do was to sit down in peace and quiet with a book and some good music! That said, I had a lovely time.

Definitive highlights were football and ale in Stanhope Arms Wednesday evening, beer with my brother and Mike in Ye Old Cheshire Cheese on Thursday, and expensive lunch in the best Italian ever on Friday. I only got around to find one open knitting shop (I Knit London), and apart from a lovely, bulky merino/cashmere blend I did not find much of interest. Also, the staff was a right disaster and I'd not recommend people to go out of their way to seek the place out.

I stayed in the Gallery Hotel in South Kensington, my standard area of residence whenever I go to London. I've never been to this particular hotel before, but it was good, clean and quiet, and fit me perfectly.

Before my trip I spent a couple of days at my mother's place in Porsgrunn, which was nice as I hadn't seen her for a while. We had some good food, and I finally brought her up to speed on how to use her internet banking. Coming back from London I've spent three nights at Holmen in Asker, which has more or less become my second home over the last months.

Sunday evening I was taken to see Monomen and Ladytron in Rockefeller as a belated birthday present. I've never seen either on stage before, and didn't really know what to expect. Monomen (think Joy Division, Interpol or ILYBICD) have been widely praised for their onstage performance, whereas the experience of watching Ladytron has been likened to "watching paint dry". I can easily sign off on Monomen, they were exceptionally brilliant and it's a right shame they were only the warm-up act. Rumours have it they'll be releasing a new album next spring (they played a new song, and it was _excellent_), so I'll definitely seek them out in concert again.

Ladytron were not at all as bad as I expected. One of the leading ladies did a weirdo Eastern European chant thing that turned me off completely, but the other one was quite all right, and all the songs I actually like by the band she performed well, if a bit still-standing. It was their last gig of an 8 month tour, and that might have helped on their willingness to give a bit more than usual. I don't know, but it was a good evening and I had fun.

Today Finnair will take me back home, and I have to say I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed and rummaging around my own bathroom. Funny how, however ambivalent I might be at times with regards to living in Finland, home is still home and there is no place like it.

Shine On

2008-11-26T16:40:00.002+02:00

Apoptygma Berzerk (I still haven't been able to get out of the A's in my listening project) covered The House of Love's '87 hit Shine On on their cover album Sonic Diary (06). It's a _very_ addictive track! That aside, this is a book post. As mentioned a couple of posts down, I managed to get back on the reading horse a while ago, and my progress is mind boggling at the moment.

Shirley Jackson's We Have Always Lived In The Castle was a bit of a disappointment. I don't really know what I expected from it - more of an adventure, I suppose, but instead I got a rather grim story about prejudice and bullying in a small US town. Don't get me wrong, it's not a _bad_ book, it was just not what I wanted to get out of it.

After finishing Jackson's outbursts, I read the third and last book in Maxence Fermine's color series. I loved Snow, which is the first one, so much I immediately had to buy the other two once I'd finished it. The Black Violin was not as good as that one, but still a good read. The final book dealt with yellow, The Beekeeper. As with The Black Violin, I can not say I was blown away by it, but it was closer to what I loved about Snow. I'd recommend Snow to anyone, but you can easily live without the last two books.

After The Beekeeper I picked up a couple of Ian McEwan novels and took them with me to Norway for the weekend. I've previously read The Innocent and the short-story collection Between The Sheets by this author, and off course I've seen Atonement (not yet read it, though). But The Comfort of Strangers. Fucking hell! (Sorry about that.)

The reviews on the cover likens McEwan to a skilled torturer barely allowing his readers a moment of relief before drowning them in darker despair. I have never, ever agreed more with a review. This story is, from beginning to end, impossible to not get carried away with, and upon reaching the conclusion I physically shrank into a tiny pinpoint in the Gardermoen airport, emanating what I assume was a pretty tragic sound as the world collapsed on the pages. (Metaphorically speaking, it's not about the end of days or anything...) I'll not give away the story line, but if you're up for a quick read sure to keep you entertained, this is the book for you.

The second McEwan book I took with me to Norway I almost did not want to read, as I was totally exhausted after the previous one. For You turned out to be quite clever, not so much in the story it tells, as in the way it is told. The book is built up in the form of a libretto, where the characters narrate their way through a rather tragic story. Because of the way it is built, you get very little insight to the inner lives of the characters, but it's an interesting experiment and very quick read. I think it took me 25 minutes to get through, if even that.

Leaving McEwan for a while, I dug into The End of Mr Y by Scarlett Thomas, a book I bought quite some time ago, but have been looking forward to read. After the long procession of realistic characters in my previous reads, it is very nice to once again sink back into the arms of fantastic story telling where there are no laws or rules binding the universe to its normal behaviour. I've read about two thirds of it, and am hoping to finish it tomorrow. Will write a more in depth review when I return from London, no doubt with four-five more books I want to comment on :)

Metronomisk Liv

2008-11-17T21:23:00.004+02:00

04:40 is way too early to get up in the morning, especially when going to a country one hour behind your normal time. I am half dead, half alive, very tired. Have had a _weird_ day.

Sometimes I wish I knew when to quit, but then again, some things are worth not giving up on.

Another Way To Die

2008-11-14T16:25:00.000+02:00

Bond trivia:
The cooperation between Alicia Keys and Jack White on the main track for Quantum of Solace is the first duet to feature as leading track for a Bond film. Whether or not it is a good cooperation seems to be the source of no small amount of debate, but I kind of like it. I love artist collaborations in the first place, and their voices complement each other well. It'll not go down in history as one of the great Bond themes, however.

So, what did we think about the film? I'll try not to spoil anything for anyone, but if you're worried, watch the movie first, read later.

First of all, I was stressed as hell showing up to Tennispalatsi, and after hoarding 12 JD's through the process of getting tickets and ordering beers (thankfully, after almost a year of running Movie Nights, I have some excellent regulars to help me), it was good to just sit and talk about films and music and life in general for an hour or so.

The opening of the movie was a bit much. The extreme high-speed scene changes almost made me dizzy, and at times it was difficult to even recognize a fight was going on before someone ended up dead. Someone else than Bond, that is. Otherwise, although the film has been heavily critizised for not having a proper plot, I enjoyed it. Not anywhere close to being as good as Casino Royale, but it's a very entertaining action flick that was worth spending money on seeing in a good theatre.

That said, I was not impressed by the leading lady. The ginger Brit girl was far more interesting (plus her exit was a good tribute to Goldfinger), and it's a shame they went for the anorectic Halle Berry-ish lead. Contrary to popular opinion I kind of enjoyed the villain. Sure, he's not one of your average Bond bad-ass cripples, but he's cold and ruthless, and I loved how the story turned out for him in the end. Which leads me to Bond. James Bond.

Daniel Craig had me a bit spooked before seeing Casino Royale. I mean, a blond Bond? I was quickly converted, and although I still think there's nothing like the real thing (Connery, that is), Craig makes the character uniquely his own. His Bond is raw, varnished, dirty; a potential serial killer in the making. And man, is he good looking in a well cut suit...

So all in all, go and see this movie for what it is, an action filled Bond flick that won't change your life but keep you well entertained for the duration of it. Oh, and let me know if you want to go to Haiti! :)

PS. Note the pleasant kick to the US regarding how the weak dollar is the price you pay for war...

PPS. I think I'm getting fluish.

The Passenger Seat

2008-11-13T17:13:00.006+02:00

Day 2 of Elektrostat was not quite en par with the first night, but still very good. Highlights of the evening were definitely In Vein, with great sound and a new song, and Front 242 who rounded off the evening. We were all very grateful to Henrik for providing such a good line-up on his birthday ;-p

Sunday I finished reading The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas by John Boyne in Gardemoen airport, and man, was that a bad idea. Cried my eyes out and proceeded to board the plane looking like shit had hit the fan in a big way. Exceptionally good book, however, I found myself hoping and hoping so hard throughout the pages that things would turn out well, and the storyline takes several surprising twists. It is narrated by a nine year old boy whose family gets relocated through the work of his father, a commander in Hitler's Germany. It's also coming out on the silver screen soon, but I'd strongly recommend you read the book. It's a quick read that will stay with you.

I'm on a good reading roll in general, just finished reading Paul Auster's The Book of Illusions last week. It's about a writer who loses his family in an airplane crash, and how writing a book about a silent movie comedian from the 20's takes him out of his comfort zone and brings him back to life. The dialogue is brilliant, and written in a way I've not seen done before. At first glance it seems a bit difficult to follow, but the characters are so extremely well defined in your mind that the story is easy to follow. A truly brilliant piece of story telling that really gripped me, and I found every inch of me screaming for it to end well.

Am now reading We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson. It's been standing on my shelf for more than a year, so it's about time I got started on a proper reading spree again. So far it is not really what I expected, without that being a bad thing. Will review further once I've finished it.

My CD listening project is going rather well, although I am now stuck on Tori Amos and have been for a week or so. Alphaville also kept me busy for a number of days before that. To complicate things I've just received the latest Snow Patrol record from Amazon, and expect to be sidetracked by that one for a while. Not easy, this focusing on one thing business!

The last couple of weeks were in general horribly depressing and shitty, but things are picking up. I saw The Lake House on Monday, with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves, and although there was a serious logical flaw in the ending it was surprisingly good. Tuesday brought lemon chicken in Bar 9 with Deb and Quinn, and last night I went for Chico's dinner with Lotta. Today I'm taking Movie Night to see the new Bond movie, which will hopefully be a treat, and on Saturday I'm heading off to Tampere again, this time with Deb and a bunch of knitters.

Next week takes me to Oslo again for two days of work, and that'll go on for the overseeable future. I'm taking the first week of December off work to go to London and hang out with my brother, and am hoping to hook up with some friends and drink lots of ale while I'm there.

Come, Lie Next To Me

2008-11-08T12:18:00.002+02:00

The first night of Elektrostat 08 is over with, and what a night it was:

Servoskudd - perhaps a bit inspired by Seigmen? Still very, very good, though, and would in fact have been worth the entire evening. I'll try to find their record today.
Trakktor - Nah... ok, they played with In Vein in Örebro, so I feel a weird sense of companionship, but still... nah.
8kHz Mono - Definitely not. If you feel you need to do an entire gig with distorted vocals, you lose ten points with me.
Bobby - Hanne tipped me about these guys... and she was right on one point - not so right about the music. A poor version of Alphaville, harmless enough, but nothing to cheer about.
Gothminister - Bjørn & co rocked so hard you couldn't not love it :D The Thriller cover at the end basically lifted the roof.
Mr. Jones Machine - Kent'ish synthpop with double vocals. Some of the songs were brilliant, others were surprisingly boring. I ended up not watching the end, which is a shame as the songs that were good were, as said, brilliant.
Apoptygma Berzerk - The third time I see Apop. Off course you can't really dislike seeing S. Groth on stage, especially when he decides to charm you with your favorite tracks by the band.

I've just had a lovely breakfast, and am about to go out and explore my old city. I assume there will be yarn. This evening is night 2 of Elektrostat, and In Vein goes on stage 22:00. :)

Set The Fire To The Third Bar

2008-10-29T18:12:00.003+02:00

Last night the lovely people from Knyttiöt (not spelled like that, but I like how it sounds when I read it) put winter tires on my car, and hence I am well equipped to handle the upcoming snow, whenever it should decide to arrive. Speaking of snow (Patrol, that is), Mr Lightbody & co released a new album - A Hundred Million Suns (a bit out of season, that title...) last week. I'll try to get around to buying and reviewing it asap, although I must say I kind of have enough with my record collection as it is at the moment.

Yesterday I hooked up with Deb and Quinn for Bar 9 lemon chicken and knitting, a very enjoyable affair. I am knitting a shawl, and progressing like never before seen with any of my other projects, but unfortunately I do not have enough yarn and will hence soon run into troubles will it. This Saturday I'm going to drag Quinn with me to the Menita in Espoo, to see if I can finally pierce a hole in one of those vouchers of mine, and in the evening I have been invited to a Halloween party that I think will be good fun.

I'm looking forward to closing the month of October on Friday. We're pretty much in line with our forecast, so it should be smooth sailing *knock on wood*. The same day I'm turning a little bit older, and as usual I'm trying to let it go by in silence. Will start a new life on Monday next week, off course, with exercise and a healthy diet :p

Now, back to my steady companion Excel, and the joys it brings. Show me some love by suggesting what on earth I should dress up as on Saturday!

How Can I Sleep With Your Voice In My Head?

2008-10-26T14:30:00.002+02:00

The clocks turned back last night. An hour gained. How lovely wouldn't it be if that was true?
I have twenty Powerpoint slides that need polishing before I can head over to Vantaa and catch a flight that hopefully will not fall down in this lovely (read: icy, sideways rain) weather we're having.

After not sleeping most of the night I finally finished Sartre's Nausea this morning. It is a remarkable work of literature, and I believe I will at some point want to read it again. I strongly admire the strength with which the author must have entered into the ever growing panic of his main character. And I really wish I did not feel such affinity to Anny.

It's Written In A Language That Was Meant To Fuck You Up

2008-10-24T18:15:00.005+03:00

Life between weekends is short and merciless :D

I've been working from Vantaa today, forcing the board of directors to sit down and agree on an obscene list of items in just five hours. A rush of blood to the organizational skills! Tomorrow I have the pleasure of hosting Deb, David, Quinn and Mika for knitting and cooking. Well, the women will be knitting while the men hang around the kitchen and do... manly stuff. First, however, I have the almost greater pleasure of hanging out in the office for three hours with Sanna for some first class Saturday working ;p

A Complete History of my Sexual Failures was rather peculiar. Although it was entertaining enough and I laughed out loud on several occassions, it seemed to only be really funny in the exact places where it was supposed to be really funny, and otherwise a bit over the top irresponsible-male-with-a-penis-fixation. Recommendable enough if you're looking to be entertained and like the documentary kind of genre, though. Movie Night reached a new all time high with 18 participants, almost a bit scary! Off course I was dreadfully late due to overtime work, but a merciful soul stepped up to the plate and saved me :)

I've still not managed to move on from Ryan Adams in my CD collection recap. Easy Tiger had me trapped for a couple of days, and then Cold Roses disc 1 for a week. Am now on my second day on the second disc, but as next-in-line is AFI I am hard pressed to leave Adams behind. I'm skipping my Aerosmith - Don't Want To Miss A Thing single... Don't remember buying it and have no intention of giving it playing time.

Sunday I'm going to Oslo again, although only for the night. Will be working in Norway on Monday, before I come back here for a back-breaking, career shaking mid-term review that will either leave me extremely motivated or once again totally baffled by what I'm doing with my life. Ei kivä!

Now: Dinner, movie and a beer :)

St. Anger

2008-10-19T20:59:00.005+03:00

My weekend in Oslo is drawing to an end. Still have a presentation to finish for tomorrow, so I'll be plugging away on that one into the late hours, but the social part is over. It's been a good couple of days, have seen a lot of people I rarely see, and laughed a lot.

I'm not in a very good mood this evening. It was kind of in the cards that this weekend would be a bit weird, and I'm not sure I handled it very well. There's an anger in me that is so deeply rooted I doubt it'll ever go away. It's the sort of anger that used to make me believe I could commit horrible errors of judgement and not face the consequences. "If people do not believe I am good I will make them pay by being the worst I can be." ways of thinking quickly leads you down paths you don't even want to be on, but you are so far gone you can't see how to get back. It even takes you to the point where you yourself believe it rules you and that you're not a good person. So you start thinking no people are good, and to not expect anything from anyone. And you end up hurting yourself, the ones you love, and it breaks your heart to look in the mirror.

I don't live by my anger anymore, but being back here kind of makes me remember what that was like. It wasn't very good, and I don't like to think about it. Maybe I've changed, but I still don't really have the guts to right the wrongs I once made. Might be it's not even possible in some cases. I have to believe it is, though, otherwise you will always be running. And that, friends and loved ones, I'm sick and tired of. So here's to making the right choices, saying "I'm sorry!", telling people you love them and to not be scared. Even though it opens you up to rejection.

Now, go tell someone you love them.

Life On A Train

2008-10-17T20:01:00.000+03:00

Blogging from mobile phone? When bored, why not? Am on the airport train heading into the city centre of Oslo, where I'll spend the evening drinking beer and catching up with friends. Tomorrow brings café visits with more friends and the birthday party of four more in the evening. Sunday schedule: knitting, reading and being hung over in the hotel.

Haben Sie eine guten Wochenend, bitte!

Is It Snowing In Space?

2008-10-14T16:33:00.000+03:00

I spent last Saturday in Tampere. Now, that place is a waste of space if I ever saw one! No, that's unfair. The weather was bad, and the "cathedral" was a piece of modernistic shit with naked men running around painted on the balcony. Not my taste, not my taste at all. Crazy Days in Stockmann saved it a bit, though, and once again I returned to my apartment with a bag full of records.

I've decided to go for the "listen to all the albums I never listen to" idea, and have started in alphabetical order. 2 Unlimited I skipped (am being adventurous, not masochistic), but Bryan Adams reminded me that I like his Inside Out (from On A Day Like Today, 1998), and ABBA got me dancing with When I Kissed The Teacher (from Arrival, 1976). Ryan Adams, however, has me parked for now. I drove to Tampere with nothing but six of his albums, and although during the day I got to Cold Roses (2005) disc 1 I returned to Love is Hell (2004) in the evening and is still there.

Ryan Adams stepped into my existence with So Alive from Rock N Roll (2003), one of my favorite songs to date. He quickly became one of my dreaded "completion artists" (look up The Byrds or Tom Waits in my shelves and you'll know what I mean), and as with many of those I haven't given most of his records much listening time - including Love Is Hell. Those days are over, my friends, and I'd definitely recommend this album. Cold Roses is also a great double album, and I expect that'll keep me busy for a couple of weeks after I move on from this one. His cover of Wonderwall is gorgeous.

This weekend I'm travelling to Oslo, and must say I'm looking forward to it. Haven't been there for ages, and it'll be good to see some old friends again.

Recipes for Disaster was a very entertaining documentary. It made me laugh out loud several times, and as I read Swedish I wasn't bothered by the occassional Finnish outburst in the dialogue. Definitely recommendable, although I left the movie theatre with a somewhat guilty conscience because of my line of work.

Even If You Know Me

2008-10-08T18:39:00.000+03:00

Ah, fuck it. I'm in an airport, which in itself is nothing new in this live-out-of-a-bag existence of mine, but this time everything just sucks. I declined going to Tallinn by helicopter as I was worried the weather would be bad, and on the way here everything went fine. Finnair was on time, I was on time, everything in its' right order. The way back, however... Well, Finnair was on time. I was not. I should have flown out of here 17:55, but instead I'm now waiting for the 21:15 flight. My travel companions that went by chopper were home at six.

ARGH!
Ok, enough with the bitching. Deb had a birthday yesterday. *flowers and fireworks*

Am thinking of going to Tampere on Saturday, to check out local yarn (or rather record) stores. Friday I'll be going to check out the not yet opened café of the ever so lovely Tiia, and am quite exited about it :)

Will now try to close my computer before the battery dies and fucks up everything I've been working on. Catch you on the flipside!

You're Out Of My Heart, Get Out Of My Town!

2008-10-07T20:31:00.004+03:00

"Man, I must have been blind
to carry your torch for most of my life!"
Starsailor - Fever (Love Is Here, 2002)

Hell And High Water

2008-10-06T18:10:00.004+03:00

After closing up September I proceeded to start October with some very long days in the office. Handed in the first draft on one my exams for this semester, a discussion around how philosophers in the 1800's radically broke with their predecessors. Boring material, but this weekend I've been working on another one where I get to indulge myself in thoughts about individuals and society. The picture above is from Nummi, of a random church I saw from the main road to Turku. It was quite lovely.

Watched Wall-E and loved it. Next week brings Recipes for Disaster, an English/Finnish documentary about a family who tried to live a year without oil without giving up their lifestyle. Am looking forward to it :)

Thursday I went out socialising with the LCV team and my departing colleague, and was a tad tired on Friday. Friday I went out for pool, dinner and subsequent partying with Sales and Finance, and Saturday morning I felt like I'd been hit by a train. Then proceeded to celebrate Veera's birthday, and I swear to God I'm not going partying again any time soon :)

Have listened a bit to Starsailor this weekend. Definitely recommendable. Will now go on to start from A in my collection and listen to everything but the albums I love, meaning I have no choice but listen through all the hundreds of records I've bought on good faith or because I just like one of the songs. Hopefully I'll find a bunch of good stuff!

These Flowers Will Always Die

2008-09-29T17:39:00.005+03:00

Between you and me
it's hard to ever really know
who to trust,
how to think,
what to believe.
The Cure - Bloodflowers (Bloodflowers, 2000)

I'm closing the month again. Funny how life suddenly seems to skip from one month's end to the next, the time between passing in the wink of an eye and barely registering before the pressure is suddenly on again. One of my colleagues is leaving us for new challenges in Russia on Wednesday, and although we have our differences I'll miss him sorely from a brainstorming and discussion partner point of view.

Ventured out of the Helsinki region to explore other parts of Finland this weekend, taking the Qashqai on its first road trip. Turku proved to be quite the dump, but the church was worth it times seven. Lucky as I seem to be on my time off these days, they were arranging a Saturday night of church music, and hence I got two hours of lovely compositions in the stunningly beautiful tuomokirkko.

Spent the night Sat/Sun in Naantali (the city of Muumin) and went sightseeing there before returning home via Salo and Ekenäs yesterday afternoon. All in all a very, very nice and relaxing weekend. Didn't get any knitting done, but almost finished Nausea by Sartre, and will have to stop there before I continue with Auster, as I have my first exam deadline on Wednesday and hence will be busy reading school stuff over the next couple of months.

In Turku I, in addition to the lovely church and a couple of rather boring yarn stores, located a brewery with very hyvä beer and a brilliant music shop! Returned home with twenty something titles, and whatever spare space I had left in my CD shelves is shrinking rapidly. Amongst other things I finally replaced my long lost Bloodflowers by the Cure. I know it's unconventional, but it is my favorite the Cure record of all time, and I'm very happy to have it back in my life.

Other business... Oslo on Wednesday is cancelled, but I'll be travelling there a lot anyway over the next couple of months. Otherwise I think I have a rather Helsinki based month ahead of me. Was originally planning on having my summer holiday in October/November, but it looks like it'll be moved. I haven't even written here about the extremely good, but surprising news in the little brother department, but I will shortly and suffice to say it means I'll be seeing more of London in the years to come :D

Let The Children Boogie

2008-09-18T13:42:00.008+03:00

Autumn has hit Finland full force, and I'm freezing my lovely lady lumps off! It doesn't help that the AC in my office is set at a level that will allow us to preserve dinosaurs for future generations.

Today I'm going to see Hellboy II, and am looking forward to it. The last week has been completely insane and I can't wait for the weekend to begin. Caught a lite sneeze after the below mentioned night of music, but fortunately the receeding daylight is making it easier for me to sleep through full nights rather than toss and turn for hours on end.

My years and years of driving a Micra are over. Two days ago I picked up my brand new Qashqai 2.0 Tekna 2WD CVT in Vantaa, and this lovely new plaything has already given me some quality time behind the wheel :)

Saturday is Anu's birthday (yay!), Tuesday and Wednesday next week we have visitors from Paris, Thursday I'll be in Denmark, and then we're suddenly once again closing a month and heading to Oslo for a full dealer review on October 1st. To summarize: Still keeping busy.

I'm knitting something like ten projects now, some of which are doomed to never be completed. The vests (Hilja and Ms Marigold) I love and can't wait to finish, but my sock production is definitely suffering from me having moved on to bigger (and better?) things.

Your Light Eclipsed The Moon Tonight

2008-09-10T17:10:00.003+03:00

08:00 - Heavy rain and the kind of sky you know will not lighten up during the day.
16:00 - Doors on Finnair Stadium opens. C leaves the office.
16:30 - C orders a taxi for 17:10
17:10 - Taxi doesn't show. C gets pissed off.
17:30 - Rendez vous time. Deb steps in and collects people.
17:35 - Taxi arrives.
17:55 - C arrives at Finnair Stadium just as music by the first warm-up act starts to emanate from the stage. Still raining.
18:05 - C, Deb and David have secured themselves a beer, and the singer sounds an awful lot like my previously mentioned hero Ken Stringfellow.
18:06 - The singer IS Ken Stringfellow.
-> Good times for all!

So no, I hadn't done my homework. When I lost track a bit of Mr Stringfellow's escapades a year and a half ago, it was because he started spending extensive time in Norway to record with a new band that I never in the end checked out. Yesterday they were, quite randomly, one of two opening acts for R.E.M. Well, not quite that random, off course, the last time I missed Mr Stringfellow on stage it was when he opened as a solo act for R.E.M. on Ullevål in Oslo. And he's been touring with them for years... it just didn't register in my mind that The Disciplines was his new act. It was great. He's always great. Wherever I am asked to list my favorite quotes, you will find Ken Stringfellow.

Editors were great too, when I found out they would be playing they quickly became my number one reason for going to the concert. The lead voice is gorgeous and the selection of songs they played was small but good. Even threw in two new tunes. It was still raining.

R.E.M. are not by any means my favorite band. I've seen them once before, in Oslo Spektrum, and that was... ok. The sound was rather poor and he went on this long, political rant about George Bush. No political rants yesterday, just a short mentioning of their commitment and that was it. The concert as such was good, they played all my favorites except Leaving New York, but they lost me during some of the more rarely played tunes - and it rained and it rained and it rained.

All in all, rain ~~or no rain~~, yesterday ended up as a brilliant day of music with very happy people walking out of the stadium. Don't have any more concerts in my calendar now, so I'm hoping bands will continue the good going-to-Helsinki trend I've seen so far this year.

Next week I'll be going to see Hellboy II, and after that the Love & Anarchy film festival is starting with a bunch of interesting music films. Also want to catch Wall-E, and need time to watch the rest of Dexter and Heroes season 2 on dvd. Phew!

They Are The Eggmen

2008-09-08T07:01:00.003+03:00

My calendar reads September 8th, and my how time flies! August seemingly came and went without much notice. The end of the month was as always busy, but it didn't at all get personal like July did. Since then I've been re-forecasting TIV, brainstormed with our full sales staff and enjoyed a weekend with good company, both latter activities taking place in Tallinn.

Wednesday morning last week I got up before the sun, packed my bags for a five day worktrip, and boarded a flight for Stockholm. Spent the day there before flying to Tallinn in the evening, and proceeded to have a calm and quiet night. Wait. Go back. Was stopped in a random passport check in Tallinn, only had my drivers licence and was screamed at by an Estonian female border patrol guard for one and a half hours, before she went on to fine me 150 Euros for not having proper travel documentation. She looked almost as scary as Quinn does in this photo.

Spent two nights in a luxurious kick-ass hotel in the Old Town, and had the heaviest dinner of all time with the sales people. Then had Deb, David, Quinn and Veera join me and Sanna for a weekend of Tallinnism, and it was all good. Have eaten and drunk a bit too much, and feel tired and super heavy, but happy :)

Tomorrow I'll see R.E.M. and the Editors in Helsinki, but otherwise the workdays to come will be spent entirely in the office. Friday I'm joining my previous team in Distribution for Sebastian's belated leaving dinner in Tapasta, and after that I'm going to try to resume my personal life after ten days a bit outside the norm.

Today I have a very bad feeling about people who as managers make decisions and, instead of sticking to them, leave their employees feeling like they haven't performed if the grounds for the decision were completely unrealistic. Leading the way and setting good examples also when it comes to admitting mistakes is part of what we're freaking paid to do! A pox on the eggmen leaders of the world!
(Please note that I'm not referring to my own manager, he's still reasonably level-headed, as much as that is possible in this industry :))

Why Do You Get All The Love In The World?

2008-08-28T17:16:00.001+03:00

New TV in house, I've been doing a bit of catching up on my movie watching lately. Well, come to think of it I've mostly been watching movies I'd already seen, but still. New ones include Hancock (at the movies), which was actually not half bad. Rather entertaining and at times I laughed out loud. Pretty Aussie girl's role was interesting enough to numb the knowledge of it being a Will Smith flick. (Theron is off course South African, not Australian. Sorry about that.)

The Fountain (on DVD) was a lot of weirdness, but quite beautiful visually. Not sure I liked it, as the storyline was rather poorly put together, but I've had it for a while and it was about time I got to watch it. Stranger Than Fiction (also on DVD), on the other hand, was an enjoyable affair. Unusually well cast, and although the end is to some extent easy to foresee the plot as a whole is good and quite funny. The main character is an ordinary office rat with an extraordinary love for numbers who suddenly realizes he's the main character in a work of fiction.

Today I'm going to the movies to see Fireflies In The Garden, also this with a rather strong castlist, so I have high hopes. Last day of the month tomorrow, stress levels are (as usual) soaring through the roof. Am struggling a bit with my schedules at the moment, as I have a bit too many things going on at the same time. Would be nice to be able to be in several places at the same time!

Butter Butter! Bunnies In Your Pants!

2008-08-26T12:35:00.003+03:00

The below was uploaded to JD by Scott, and I found it so hilarious I had to steal it for my blog. I guess it's funniest if you know enough Finnish to know some of the expressions behind the insane sentences :D

"Many years ago, I was sent the below. It is Finnish directly translated to English, although I think I had it with the original Finnish back then."

Scene: Two men at a table waiting for their dates

A: How plenty is the bell?
B: It lacks but a few minutes of eight.
A: Aren't the girls becoming visible already?
B: Shall we be having long ones as we're expecting?
A: I don't want to be in my heads when they come.
B: Virgin! Virgin! (Waitress enters)
W: What is coming to you?
B: Two long ones and food list.
W: (giving drinks) Be good, be good. Is it getting to be another?
A: No thanks.
W: Are you costing together or different?
A: Different. Moment, moment. I feel I've got Matthew in my pouch.
B: Don't care. I'll cost.
A: Thanks.
B: It won't last (pays waitress).
A: No. So, through the northern lands.
B: Through the northern lands.

Girls enter - D and E. The men stand up and everyone says "Healthy".

A: No so. What is audible?
E: (shivering) I'm all iced. It's freezing outside. I'm all at the chicken flesh.
D: Sorry we're late. We had bunnies in our pants.
A: Butter butter! Bunnies in your pants!
E: Don't rip your footbal shorts. We made it root and root.
B: Virgin! Virgin! Where's the foodlist?
W: I'm not a virgin. I'm a boymangirl.
B: Butter that. Give pardon, give pardon. Two long ones still.
W: Be good, be good.
D: She feels like having a potato. Isn't it so?
A: Do you have hunger?
E: No, I've already got crumbs under my breast.
D: There's a hard hunger on me. What's on the foodlist?
A: Let's see. A beginning it can be sister sausage soup.
D: Sister sausage soup! Butter brothers!
B: How about a blow on the ear?
E: Blow on the ear! Go and ski up a spruce tree!
A: Well, there's also dropbread, liverbox, a poor knight for afterfood.
D: Don't know. This shows from interesting.
E: What?
D: Fishcock and elk balls!

If My Star Should Fall

2008-08-25T17:56:00.002+03:00

Here's a nice piece of Eastern European music trivia for you:
Latvian band Brainstorm finished third in the 2000 Eurovision finals with the song My Star. I loved it. In Latvian they're called Prāta Vētra, two words I haven't the slightest of how to pronounce, so I'll stick with the English translation. They are apparently quite big in Latvia, but as this is a rather small country we're talking about the record sales are off course limited. I've had some problems getting hold of their records as they're not even easily accessible on amazon without paying a fortune, so I'm hoping this autumn's Baltic travels will bring me closer to what I'm looking for.

Listen to My Star and just be happy. It's not humanly possible to listen to this and not get a bit of everything's-gonna-be-allright going on. In fact, if you don't fall in love I dare you to listen to it with me once and I promise I'll make you want to dance around in the summer rain :)

Oh, and note the heartbreakingly adorable singer. There's just something about that Latvian "Will it get me laid if I tell you I kind of want to off myself?" look.

They have more nice songs, if you're into the synthpop scene you might want to check out Online, you can find it... online.

In Her Room

2008-08-18T16:35:00.002+03:00

So... I mentioned I had bought a TV, right? Well, today they delivered it and it's HUGE! 42'' sounds much more manageable when it's not sitting in your living room! Am actually a bit terrified by the size of it, but I guess movie watching will take on a different format from now on which will be a welcome change from the miniature black box I've used the last two years (thank you, Miia :).

Am trying to figure out how to spend my holidays for the coming year or so. Really want to go to Peru, and have previously talked this over with Lotta. Might be difficult to go through with, though. The alternative might be going somewhere over Christmas and New Year's, as this gives me a bit more time to play with. New Guinea, maybe? Also, I'll need time to do at least one US road trip next year, and that's bound to tie up some weeks. And whatever happened to Romania? I even have a small hope that my chances of having European road trip company might be looking up.

Today I am going home to cook dinner and watch a movie. Garden State, I believe. Fun and good times for all :)

Pretty When You're Faithful

2008-08-17T11:59:00.000+03:00

I never was much for Rossdale's (1 very sexy Rolling Stone cover) escapades, although I must admit the man, back when he fronted Bush, was sex personified, if in a slighly more sleezy way than the man himself, Trent Reznor (3 Rolling Stone covers, not so sexy but it's still Trent Reznor). I wonder if he ever slept with Manson (Reznor, that is, not Rossdale). Do I really want to know? Probably not. I read a blog post that likened him, back in his Perfect Drug days, to Severus Snape as played by Alan Rickman in the Harry Potter movies. Funny :)

So, you ask, why this sudden return to That Which Is Trent? I never was much of a NINie back when that term still made any sense, but I wonder how much of the current me he is responsible for. Did I pick my music because of what I was becoming, or did I become what I did because of the music I picked? Surely there are thousands of influences, but how much of me boils down to what I've been listening to?

I do believe that no action is triggered by music, you can't blame lyrics or performers for your own actions. But surely, if music is as big a part of ones environment as it is of mine, it must color us in some ways? Songs I love do have the power to drag me up and down in equal measures, and I would lie if I said I've never used lyrics to achieve goals. Is God in the music? Would God then also be in Trent? Oh, the implications, someone call the pope!

"Burn the witches!", right?

Celebrated Miia's and Alistair's birthdays last night, and am a tad on the tired side today. Splendid evening with loads of excellent people. Next week I have Thursday and Friday off, and am probably going away somewhere. Doesn't matter how busy I am at work, I have very good private life karma right now :)

There's Beauty In The Breakdown

2008-08-12T01:58:00.001+03:00

I've been too busy living to do much blogging lately, but here's a short update:

The end of July came and went and almost killed everything called motivation in me. With August the workload has thankfully eased up a bit, so I'm hoping it'll stay this way.

No books read, still working on both Auster and Sartre and not really getting anywhere with either one as I haven't even picked them up in weeks. Music wise I'm being a busy bee, and have twenty-something titles waiting for me in Norway for the next time I go there. Also bought a huge tv and a new camera, just to make sure I have even more stuff to do rather than blogging :)

Still loving the knitting, and in addition to more advanced socks I've cast on my first ever sweater. Not going particularly well so far, but I'm hoping that Deb will work her magic and put it right tomorrow. I've seen The Happening and The Dark Knight in the movies. Shyamalan's movie scared me a few times, and was in general a bit too gross for me to like it. Didn't help that the acting, dialogue and general screenplay sucked bigtime. The Dark Knight was good, it is very, very dark compared to the earlier Batman movies, and all involved put up a good performance. Am not even close to agreeing with the "best movie ever" stamp it has received, though. I mean, it's still just a marvel comic turned movie. It marked the return of JD Movie Nights after summer, and this week Hancock is on the programme.

What else? I've been ocean swimming, IKEA shopping, furniture assembling, almost mushroom picking (chickened out due to rain), liquid chocolate drinking, graveyard wandering, lemon chicken eating, pasta cooking, beer drinking, photo watching (Miia & Willem are back from Thailand) and in general laughing a lot and loving life. Oh, and I've decided to finally give Finnish an honest try. Can't be all that hard once you have your motivation sorted out, right? :)

I just read through the CD insert of Snow Patrol's Eyes Open and discovered that my long time hero Ken Stringfellow appears on piano on my favorite track on the record; Warmer Climate. As always, I love the connections :)

Maybe it's the warmer climate,
maybe I'm the smarter primate.
Maybe it's the beer I'm drinking,
maybe I've stopped over-thinking.
Snow Patrol - Warmer Climate (Eyes Open, 2006)

Falling Slowly

2008-07-31T08:47:00.003+03:00

I saw Once in Tennispalatsi last night. If you like Tom McRae, or even better; Damien Rice's cooperation with Lisa Hannigan, you will love, and I repeat; love this movie. The story is good, the actors charming, the chemistry between them tangible and I'm going to buy the soundtrack. Just go see it, your life will be a little bit fuller.

Last day of the month today, and the stress level is only surpassed by the amounts of adrenaline pumping through my system. I know I will sleep like a child tonight, and tomorrow I get to start it all over again with August. One of our managers yesterday proclaimed that Sales Ops (me & my team) have energetic bottom power. What that is supposed to mean I have no idea, but I love it :D

My brother will be moving to LA in a little over one month. I am very proud of how he has decided to go after his dream, but I have to admit the big sister protective syndrome kicks in a little bit as well. Thankfully he has a good head planted on his shoulders, and is well equipped to find happiness. I wonder what it was in our upbringing that lead to this intense drive to fulfill potential and chase dreams. Whatever it was I am very thankful for it :)

This last week has been so filled with life it's almost difficult to understand how the days keep from bursting into fragments. What a lovely gem collection they would make :)

Come Loose Your Dogs Upon Me

2008-07-27T20:01:00.004+03:00

I've had a couple of conversations lately around fairytale endings - do we or do we not want our lives to be like them? 17 year old maiden gets carried away by Harlequin novel poster boy to live well protected and happily ever after in a castle. This is where my being me kicks in and starts rebelling. Hell no!

If I was asked to conduct the fairytale of my life, it would consist of personal development, lovely music, great reads, morning walks in Paris, ale in London, baguettes in Laos, dusty old bookstores, vineyards in Mosel, antiques markets in Beijing, sidewalk cafés in Greenwich Village, ruins in Turkey, Norwegian mountains, Swedish thunderstorms, Finnish summer days, hundreds of yet unseen countries, daily life in a house by the sea, my bed, good movies, long hours in the dark behind the wheel, countless hours of conversation, churches, trees, lust for life, me and the one I choose.

The happily ever after could still be there, we'd just have so much more to talk about. The last time I went to Paris, as I stepped out of the train on the Louvre metro station, an old man was playing the first violin voice over a tape recording of Pachelbel's Canon in D, and it followed me along the Seine and into Notre Dame. Pictures like that will decorate my fairytale.

Kjersti (bless her heart) has managed to color her hair green today. I have laughed so much I've cried, and hope she's able to fix it before the new work week starts tomorrow.

More Like A Song

2008-07-26T09:15:00.004+03:00

My relationship with Bright Eyes is a bit bumpy, to say the least. Their Pull My Hair, however, is a recurring good thing.

It'll seem more like a song,
and less like it's math
if you pull on my hair
and bite me like that.
Bright Eyes - Pull My Hair (Letting Off The Happiness, 1998)

I saw the Anton Corbijn exhibition in Tennispalatsi yesterday, and loved it. Some of the pictures are positively beautiful, others are just plain freaky. It was a very good and surprisingly fun way to spend half an hour, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who hasn't been yet. I might even go back before they take it down. Visit his homepage to see a list of the music videos he has made - you will find an astonishing list of my favorites. I had no idea he was behind so many of them, although I guess I should have figured he had something to do with Front's Headhunter :)

Then hung out with various laid back JD's on terraces the rest of the night, and fell asleep happier than I have been since February. Silence is not the way.

Every Day Is Exactly The Same

2008-07-25T08:27:00.000+03:00

I saw Wanted last night, and man was that a pleasant surprise! I kind of expected a straight up, no twist assassin story, but no, this one is different. Absolutely recommendable, and the soundtrack is great as well. Remember to bring excellent company :)

Update on life in general:
:D

Break The Night With Colour

2008-07-24T09:15:00.000+03:00

Note on life in general:
:D

Other business:
My dish washer started leaking water in the middle of the night on Wednesday. Took me ages to get all the water off the floor, and at the speed I'm going now most of Thursday will be spent sorting it out with the apartment owner and janitor. All of a sudden I'm very happy to be renting a place :)

I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It

2008-07-22T20:48:00.011+03:00

Holy Mother of All that is Horrible and Offensive: did you have the orgy of your life the night someone decided to sign Katy Perry?

I can not even begin to describe how... _horrific_ this song is. Not only are the vocals bad, the woman (kiddo, whatever) far too made up and the song bluntly toying with everything that gets teenage boys going about girl-on-girl action, it actually suddenly made me understand why every lesbian I know is more or less scared witless of hooking up with bisexual girls. And oh, this song has been on the top of the Billboard chart.

"I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight."

"Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent."
Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl (One of the Boys, 2008)

In fact, I could quote the whole song, it's so bad. I mean, _come on_! If they'd at least given the tune to some techno bimbo with boobs the size of Texas it would have been more where it belonged, but why this? I am shellshocked.
MY EYES AND EARS FEEL DIRTY AND USED!

I haven't felt like posting with caps lock in ages. Enjoy.

(An hour or so later: Ok, if it makes more girls want to experiment I guess it's ok, but come on, it shouldn't be because it's in or because the boys like it. Ah, hell no, I still don't like this song.)

Put Your Arms Around Me

2008-07-21T17:42:00.000+03:00

They Come To Build A Wall Between Us

2008-07-20T09:31:00.006+03:00

I've been very productive in here lately, haven't I. Maybe I should do more around the apartment and spend less time with the laptop, but what can I say, there's apparently a lot that needs stating. My ferns are feeling neglected, I can tell by the silence emanating from the kitchen window sill.

This week has been a heavy one, the load at work is still completely insane and this will just simply have to stop at some point or I will go bonkers. I did, however, meet up with Deb and Quinn on Wednesday for Bali Hai dinner and some knitting - which was nice. Quinn has returned from her Romania holiday and I really, really want to go there. Please, dear friends and loved ones, would one of you just freakin' decide to join me?

I also re-connected with my favorite e-mail writer during the week, after clearing up a misunderstanding that underlines the problems I have with virtual communication. I need the eye contact, I need the voice, I need the skin and the manneurisms. Sometimes it puzzles me no end how I managed to live for so many years with internet as the preferred mode of communication. I try not to think about what I probably missed during that time. Anyway, this made me happy and took the edge of some long hours in the office.

Friday I spontaneously ended up having beer in Helsinki with Kjersti, and must confess I ended up in a well good mood. We ended up conversing a group of men who were out on the prowl in Teatteri and as a result I had a date invitation for Tuesday tick in to my mail box last night. Weird, I have a very hard time believing I was particularly charming. Well, always nice to get some proper attention, although I think I'll pass on this one.

Saturday I went to Porvoo on the M/S Runeberg that I had previously only taken part of the way a few times with Lotta & Co. After a very stressful morning that included a nasty run-in with a bus driver and his bus, I got to the boat kind of last minute to find a great group of Jollies waiting for me. Beer and sun and good company secured a truly brilliant Saturday, and I was so spent when I got home it took me hours to move from the sofa to bed. Sometimes it's just so lovely to close your eyes for a little while right there, without moving anywhere :)

Next week will be work, work, work again, and then weekend. Am toying with the idea of a road trip, but don't really know where I want to go. The next time I go to a Finnish town I want their blasted church to be open, that's for sure. (Blasted church? I must say, very feisty female here today.)

"If heaven is on the way,
we'll wrap the world around it."
Bush - Letting The Cables Sleep (The Science of Things, 1999)

According To Plan

2008-07-19T21:44:00.001+03:00

Have had a lovely day basking in the sun along the Finnish coastline. Am dead tired.
If you've not heard I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness it's about time. Editors/Interpol/Joy Division/The National lovers will also like ILYBICD.

Oh, and I think I've forgotten to say "Yay, Editors are opening for R.E.M. in September!". So yay, Editors are opening for R.E.M. in September!

And It Feels Like It's Tearing Me Up

2008-07-17T19:27:00.000+03:00

I've posted about this artist before somewhere, but apparently not here. Even Johansen aka Magnet (Norwegian singer/songwriter) released a duet cover of Dylan's Lay Lady Lay with Gemma Hayes on his 2004 album On Your Side. The song was picked out for the Mr & Mrs Smith soundtrack (never heard), and was played over and over and over and over again on Norwegian radio. I've seen Magnet a couple of times (three, actually) live, and he's great. Give him a chance, you'll find it on youtube (try to ignore the video, however).

The original of Lay Lady Lay I actually don't care much for, but somehow this cover brought the first couple of lines to my attention in a new way ("Lay, lady, lay. Lay across my big brass bed."), and I fell. Should you happen to like his version or not I'd anyway recommend some of his own songs - Hold On (Torniquet, 2005), The Day We Left Town and The Last Day Of Summer (both also from On Your Side, 2004).

Silence Is Not The Way

2008-07-16T20:16:00.003+03:00

As I was heading out to meet Deb and David last Saturday, I was drawn in to (completely against my will, off course) one of Helsinki's many antiquarians to rummage around a while in their philosophy shelf. Ended up with a Swedish version of Sartre's Nausea and Simone de Beauvoir's Adieux. I never, and I repeat; never, put a book down before I've finished to start reading another one, but that evening I found myself well into Nausea even though I haven't even read through the first chapter of Auster's Book of Illusions. Strange indeed.

I love the book, though. Sartre writes about depression triggered anxiety in a way so tangible you can almost feel it on your skin. Although I have never experienced the extreme distance at which the main character finds himself from his surroundings and the physical distress caused by it, I recognize the idea of how I am with relationships sometimes. Daily life can just sometimes seem so far away from where you are mentally it almost disgusts you. Even the people you know and love can be so estranged, so contaminated by the "otherness" of everything.

What is undeniably good about Nausea is how its qualities as a novel does not suffer from its authors philosophical musings. And, it has got me sidetracked. The last time I was dragged off by a work of philosophy it took me halfway through a degree in comparative religion - and wouldn't you know it - Sartre has put me back on track. My enrollment at UiO is still valid, and yesterday I was lured back in by their tempting course plan and am once again a registered student. Bless my soul.

One of the saddest thing that I ever saw (was smokers outside the hospital doors) was the deaf wing of the Gaustad mental hospital in Norway. The hospital is located in a beautiful, old red brick factory-like complex north of the city centre, where vines cling to the walls and you just want to lay in the grass and watch the clouds. Why does a mental hospital have an own deaf wing? I understand that they will need a different type of care, but this place is huge. Do depressed people hurt themselves and go deaf, or are people separated from others by lack of hearing more prone to depression? I won't try to figure this out as I am not at all qualified to do so, but the thought breaks my heart. If you go to Oslo, you should visit.

Child Is My Name

2008-07-15T18:46:00.009+03:00

This material is very copyrighted by Dilbert creator Scott Adams and I'm not being a good girl by putting it up here, but maybe it'll make someone buy some of his wonderfully funny strips. One of our colleagues was presented with the following two in his table calendar last week, and they crack me up no end :D

The next strip is on Sales, and off course not nearly as amusing ;)

After studying I lived in Oslo with a friend named Kari for a while. She loved Kemopetrol (female vocalist, popish almost Lamb-like sound), and hence I ended up with one of their CDs although I ever really only loved one of their songs. We used to sit on the windowledge and drink martini bianco with ice before going to So What! to build our futures, fucked up as we might have believed them to be. I wonder if my search for a So What! replacement will ever end... That was the same summer I decided not to go to Placebo's Black Market Music tour concert in Oslo. I must have had mental problems. Anyway, today someone quite randomly told me that Kemopetrol is a Finnish band. Huh. I never had the slightest idea. Not the most studied one of my CD pamphlets, in other words.

Get Cape, Wear Cape, Fly

2008-07-14T19:12:00.004+03:00

Bruce was a charmer all right, in his tight jeans and leather wristbands. Bluntly ignoring some of his Tom Jones moves I must say I enjoyed myself a lot - the band was good and his vocal chords must be the strongest in the world - 3.5 hours with only the short break before the encore. Quite a few new songs and a long belt of very similar sounding tunes in the middle dragged the experience down a bit, but just the live performance of Born To Run in itself was worth the ticket money. Good company didn't hurt either, we hooked up with fellow JD Annu, and also got to meet one of Paul's friends. Beers after and an exceptionally short taxi queue at the end of the night secured the evening.

Saturday and Sunday was also spent with both or one of my favorite Brits as we on Saturday met up for the now more or less weekly Bar no 9 chicken and Black Door ale, and yesterday me and Deb had good intentions of going swimming in the sea although we ended up in their backyard with our knitting in the end (it was cloudy in the morning). Yesterday evening I almost asked the local store boy out on a date, but thankfully registered that I must have had a stroke or other form of temporary brain disturbance before I got the words out. No mom, I do not have a thing for the local store boy. Trust me. He's 20 tops. Ok, maybe a small facial crush. :D

Apart from trying my hardest not to be a creepy grown-up picking up youngsters in the local K-Market, this week I will do little except work. Saturday I'm shepherding a crowd of jollies onto a boat going to Porvoo.

My current playlist:
Leaves - Breathe
Longview - Further
Mojave 3 - Breaking The Ice
Pete Yorn - Lose You
Thirteen Senses - Into The Fire
The Little Ones - Let Them Ring The Bells
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - All You Do Is Talk
Babyshambles - There She Goes
Get Cape Wear Cape Fly - Get Cape Wear Cape Fly
The Cardigans - Communication
Damien Rice - Accidental Babies
David Gray - This Year's Love
Embrace - Gravity
Gary Jules - Mad World
Gus - Don't Fear The Reaper
Kari Rueslåtten - Other People's Stories
Mew - Snow Brigade
Ryan Adams - So Alive
Stephen Fretwell - Bad Bad You, Bad Bad Me
Toad The Wet Sprocket - Something's Always Wrong
Death Cab For Cutie - Tiny Vessels

Now this, friends and loved ones, is a brilliant playlist if I may say so myself.

Want II

2008-07-10T18:12:00.003+03:00

This morning I remembered why I stopped going to the JD weekly welcome on Wednesdays months ago. Hopefully it'll stick this time around. New colleague Kjersti was introduced to a couple of outside-of-work people, and it was all good fun. After a couple of weeks of insane work load and little sleep I am, however, feeling relatively tired at the moment. The weekend will be good, I just have to stay awake for Bruce first - going to see him in Helsinki with Deb, David and Paul tomorrow.

My Monday in Geneva was good, it was my first time on Swiss soil and I will definitely go back with some more time to see the country. Nature wise it is off course very similar to Norway, but the architecture got me really interested. There are so many places to go, so little time to do it in!

I want to listen to PJ Harvey's C'mon Billy and sing along so loud it rattles the windows. I also want to go to Newcastle and drink beer. And to get a new dog... I know I thought I'd never get one again, but I so miss the company of one, maybe I'll cave in and compromise with a cat. With this working schedule a dog would be miserable with me. On the other hand, even feline companions need a bit more stability than I can offer. *sigh* I need a pet, any volunteers?

I finished reading After Dark, and although I'm not totally sold on the author it was entertaining enough and I'll remember it for a while. After that I read Tideland by Mitch Cullins on various flights all over the place, and loved it. It's about a girl who gets dragged off to the middle of nowhere with her junkie father and how her over-active imagination spins an alternative perception of reality around her to shield her from what's going on. Rather brutal, and not at all the cute fairy tale story I was half expecting. Definitely recommendable.

Am now reading Paul Auster's The Book of Illusions - this is my second encounter with the author after reading Travels in the Scriptorium over New Year's. Loved that one, and have high hopes for this one as well. So far it's promising, I like his style and have already found a quote from it that I'll keep, a kind of meditation on silence. Which reminds me, I'd like to read Gibran's The Prophet again, maybe that's next. Have so many unread books waiting, though.

Type 0's October Rust found it's way to me again, and is my current in-the-car entertainment. Have also started listening to music in the office to shield myself while working with the new tool I'm developing. So far Sweden is totally sold on it, so it seems I had the right idea. Have to roll it out to the other markets, but that's next week's project on top of everything else that's going on.

After five years working with distribution I've almost forgotten how it feels to have a learning curve like this. Almost everything I do I've never done before, it's sink or swim in the extreme. Although I complain about not having enough hours in the day I have to admit I'm loving it. I wonder what I'll be capable of when I emerge on the other side of it all, and how it'll change my perspective and dreams. And, will it make me a better person? Or just really fed up with Excel? :)

I am now going home to sleep and water my poor ferns. Go to bed, world :)

All You Do Is Talk

2008-07-09T19:12:00.003+03:00

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Holy crap. Why has no-one told me to get a grip and start getting into this band? I love, love, love them, in the kind of heart rendering way I love bands like The National, Editors, Kent and Joy Division. Their 07 record Baby 81 is nothing short of brilliant - and it's been hanging around my computer since last September, just... not being listened to!

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