Closer To God

Sometimes I wonder what happened to people that damaged them, gave them the wrinkles and bruises they have. I guess in most cases it's simple - life happened. Yet I can't help but think we sometimes help life create the means of our own demise. How often do we willingly play the role of rabbit in the headlights? Makes it even more tragic that we rarely learn from past mistakes.

Today I've had a very random fever attack, and ravelling in self pity I watched two movies. The first - The Oh in Ohio - was a parody of everything sensual. Parker Posey plays a frigid "ice queen" (or uptight house wife/control freak if you ask me), married to poor Jake who can not for the heart of him give her an orgasm.

Ten minutes in I was tempted to throw in the towel. The movie is a downright Cosmo article - "Own your orgasm, and 10 ways to make your man happy in the kitchen!". Wifey gets a vibrator (yay, orgasm!) and sleeps with half the city including the girl who sold her the vibe (oh no, no orgasm). Husband leaves and hooks up with teenage science geek/vixen (Misha Barton), before regretting everything sorely and begging wife to come back to him.

Alas, she has by then hooked up with past-middle-aged anti-hunk Wayne the Pool Guy (Danny DeVito), who finally enables her to come without the aid of batteries (yay!), and all is joy. I am sorry for the amount of grown-up words in this review, but screenplays don't come much more blatantly daft than this one.

Romance (also known as Romance X) is the much talked about (banned and heavily censored in many countries) 1999 movie of French Catherine Breillat. It features a bunch of (to me) unknown French actors and pornstar Rocco Siffredi (also unknown to me). It is said to have inspired a trail of sexually explicit mainstream movies over the last years, such as Shortbus and 9 Songs (one of my favorite films). I bet it had something to do with the above mentioned orgasm tragedy as well...

Romance is, however, a good film. The main character, Marie, is in a relationship where her boyfriend has tired of her - the chase is over and he is simply bored. She decides to take things into her own hands and goes manhunting (this is where Rocco comes into play).

The movie also dabbles in bondage, risky sex ending in rape, and masturbation (oooh, my blog will probably get blacklisted in several US states after this entry). It sounds a bit borderline, but what makes the movie good is Maria's overlying narrative of her own thoughts around her relationship and men in general. The end of the movie is a bit icky, but I guess it is a good visual kick in the b*lls for all men who figured they were watching a soft porn flick.

There, now it would seem I'm a right pervert with my choice of Monday entertainment, but in my defence I have to say both movies have been waiting for over a year and I figured I might as well do both in one go.